BY BECKY FENGER | MARCH 14, 2012

Peculiarities

Becky Fenger Fenger Pointing

I guess I haven't subjected myself to enough suffering during this 2012 period of Lent, so the powers that be saw fit to feature Al Sharpton on a segment of "Meet the Press" last Sunday entitled "Civility in Politics." (I cannot bring myself to call someone so unworthy of the title "Reverend," so don't write to complain.)

Sharpton is a shell of his former self, having lost almost 100 pounds, but that is what going on a hunger strike while you're serving time in a federal prison will inspire in a person. The irony of race-baiter Al Sharpton leading a panel discussion with Wall Street Journal's Peggy Noonan, the Washington Post's E. J Dionne, and Congresswoman Marsha Blackburn, (R-Tenn.) on the topic "Civility in Politics" is the political equivalent of porn star Ron Jeremy leading a seminar on "Choosing Celibacy for Fun and Profit."

If Peggy Noonan hadn't decided long ago that she'd rather wax poetic than stick with her former mindset, she'd have laughed in the producer's face at being booked with this hustler. After all, Sharpton's past scandals include instigating a riot that resulted in six deaths. Six. "It's not cute to just escalate things," Sharpton now says. Too bad he didn't follow his own advice before six people died.

The next hour of Sunday TV that I watched was ABC's "This Week with George Stephanopoulos," which featured a panel that included disgraced former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer, better known as Client-9 in documents filed in U.S. Federal Court after he protractedly cavorted with prostitute Ashley DuPre.

I should have left the TV on, since there might have been a show on the cooking channel with former U.S. Rep Anthony Weiner.

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Question: If longtime Maricopa County Supervisor Don Stapley can run for Congress in CD 9 with a straight face, can former U.S. Congressman Rick Renzi run for Governor?

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Here's another whiff of political flatulence from Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano. She wants to cut the armed airline pilots program by 50 percent, or $12 million. She told Congress that the program is not "risk based," that pilots aren't the last line of defense and that we can trust the cockpit door to keep us safe. Now, Secretary. As a rather immoveable object yourself, you should know that there is no such thing as an impenetrable door (with the possible exception of candidate for Corporation Commissioner in District 4, Jean McGrath, when she's stopping wasteful government spending.)

Napolitano completely ignores the fact that it was the disarming of pilots in 1987 that led to the famous 9/11 cockpit takeovers. How irrational. Better she cut the program that teaches discount retail shoppers to report something "unusual or suspicious." Now, that's redundancy!

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I've been going crazy buying coupons on Groupon and LocalDines.com. But here's one offer where I'll take a pass: Naturopathic body mediators purge burdened bodies of toxin through colon-hydrotherapy sessions during which a practitioner gently sends warm, purified water coursing through the belly's plumbing system for up to 45 minutes as the client reclines on a treatment table. For $39. I'll give you $50 if you never tell me about this again.

Quoteworthy:

"The United States will always have Israel's back when it comes to Israel's security."
– President Barack Obama, March 5. (This reminds me too much of how actress Sandra Bullock credited bad boy motorcycle man Jesse James with "always having her back." Yea, sure.)

“Crying Putin, manscara and now mantyhose. We are over.”
– New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd, contemplating the downfall of manhood.