By the numbers

dr dave-Married men are twice as likely as single men to be alive 15 years after coronary bypass surgery. Results vary depending on insurance policy.

-Studies now show that children breast fed to 6 months have less asthma. Children breast fed to 6 years have fewer friends.

-Alcohol actually damages the frontal lobe, the very part of the brain critical to quit drinking!! That would be full frontal stupidity.

-Studies prove colon cleansing has no health benefit and can cause harm. For those of you who undergo that pleasantry, you're being hosed.

-New study shows that a whopping HALF of Canadians will suffer mental health problems. Had no idea that there were that many Leaf fans.

-Gluten sensitivity (celiac) becoming more widespread in North America. Something to do with glutes becoming more widespread in America?

-60 percent of women get uterine fibroids. Fibroids recently found to be caused by a genetic mutation. Thus 60 percent of women are mutants. I knew it!

-Every single US state reported more obesity than last year!!! The obesity epidemic is so widespread as Americans continue to spread so wide.

-Startling new scientific evidence: No Such Thing As a Hypoallergenic Dog! And here I thought I had a cold for 7 years. Goodbye TinkyMuffin.

-Eating baked goods may reduce the symptoms of a milk allergy ... ask your doctor for a prescription eclair.

-Kids from unplanned pregnancies lag behind intellectually which may be why Mom kept signing me up to play goalie for the dart team... and I did.

-Teeth plaque –>arterial plaque –>plaque on a hospital wall. For fewer fatalities floss your fangs frequently. See

-Chronic pain gene discovered but it's also the gene responsible for heart rate. Good news Bloggins, we can now treat your pain. Bad news ...

-Report: "Men Who Smoke At Lower Risk of Joint Replacement" Given that joint replacements occur in later life ... I think I know the reason.

-Beer has only just been classified as an alcoholic drink in Russia. 
What was it before? Baby formula?

-Trichomonas, an STD was found in 8.3 percent of women age 20-29 but in 13 percent of women 50-89! Told they can either ignore their trick or treat.

-Statistics reveal that people who read health articles live longer – log in to and you may wonder if it's worth it.

-Statistics reveal that only 15 percent of doctors wash their hands after examining a patient ... another reason why proctologists have no friends.

-Health Canada recommends that Red Bull should only be sold under the supervision of a pharmacist ... what's next – a prescription latte?

-New medical research shows bellybuttons are full of friendly skin bacteria. And to think they could have wasted research funds on cancer.

-A new medical study indicates music eases both anxiety and pain in cancer patients. Results varied depending on ... Alanis Morissette.

-Zinc acetate- best lozenge for cold. Catching a cold can make you fat! Particularly if you use the zinc pizza lozenges.

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