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DECEMBER 1, 2010

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It's so comforting to notice that the late perverted Michael Jackson has been replaced by the falsetto-singing, Miss Clairol candidate, androgynous Justin Bieber. With such role models, no wonder our young males have become lisping, simpering, queens of the ball! I wonder where the next Marines, SEALs, Detachment Delta and Rangers will come from.

Fountain Hills residents are collecting signatures for a referendum on their town council's 4-3 vote approving a single hauler for residential trash pickup and curbside recycling. I am sure there will be a referendum if Carefree council passes their graft-ridden idea to force residents to pay for a single hauler, unless council adds an "emergency clause" eliminating the possibility of a referendum. I guess the "emergency" would be that someone is short of cash.

Cave Creek town code 90.12 reads, "Any person who keeps or causes to be kept any horses, mules, cattle, burros, goats, sheep, or other livestock or poultry shall keep such livestock or poultry fenced to prevent their roaming at large within the corporate limits of the town. Any such livestock or poultry running at large may be impounded by any police officer of the town." I will be sure to keep my chickens fenced so coyotes don't get in and MCSO doesn't get a free chicken. I shudder at the thought of little Henny-Penny getting loose in Carefree.

I wonder if Carefree will hire off-duty TSA employees to pat down potential council attendees to further discourage attendance at monthly meetings. There are still a handful in the audience with the Tuesday 5 p.m. start time. I note that Mayor David "property tax" Schwan moves all critical issues to 3 p.m. on Wednesdays to minimize the chance of the public getting involved and forcing Sonoran News to report a week late.

I plan to charter buses filled with attractive ASU coeds to come to Cave Creek on Jan. 1 "hug day." They will be offering hugs in exchange for donations to worthwhile charities. In case the mob of would-be hugees gets too large, there will be a "take-a-number" dispenser on site and MCSO's finest to keep order and prevent a potential riot from occurring.

Considering the number of empty store fronts in Carefree, a marijuana dispensary would help to bring in business. Guaranteed it would do a brisker business and pay more tax revenue than anything in Carefree now.

Walmart finally broke ground on their new Cave Creek Super Center on Nov. 18 and what a relief. Thank you Walmart for staying with us for nearly two years of delay thanks to the likes of Grace Meeth, Anna Marsolo, Charles Spitzer and other idiots who seem to live only to damage the town. Cave Creek looks forward to our partnership with you for years to come.

I still believe the next generation of SEALs, Recon, Rangers and SF will come from those in our, people who believe as we do, immediate sphere of influence. To wit: I have helped one of the boys I coached get into West Point. He is now a Capt. flying Blackhawks. I helped one at-risk kid become a Marine and a college student with a law degree and political post in his future, helped another who is in the 160th SOAR. Watched another kid get his butter bar and who will be in Afghanistan in an M1 Abrams. The list goes on ... It is not about promotion, it is attraction!

Our rifle and IDPA matches have a bunch of youngsters that get a chance to shoot and be with LEO's, active and retired military and generally good old boys from the south. The young men and women are treated as adults and expected to behave as such.

There are plenty of great kids here in Kentucky. They have become scout snipers in the USMC, 5th SF at Ft. Campbell and Nashville SWAT officers.

The latest monthly Revenue and Expense Report posted on the Town of Cave Creek website is for July 2010. There are no data for August, September or October. The good news is that July town revenues of $1,138,000 exceeded town expenditures of $477,304. The bad news is that there was no provision in July for debt service payments and interest expense expected to total $6,407,030 for the year. Adding in 1/12 of that amount would have left the town ahead by just $126,777. The town also skipped funding any "contingency" accounts budgeted at $519,818 for 2010-11.

A recent Sonoran News editorial included, "The Cave Creek administration is pondering if a new (property) tax approximating the Spur Cross Ranch tax amount wouldn't be a good thing." Maybe it is time for an initiative in Cave Creek similar to Prop. 422 scheduled for the March Carefree ballot. Prop. 422 reads, "An affirmative vote of two-thirds (2/3) of the members of the Carefree Common Council is required to present any property tax proposal to the registered voters of the town."

In a February 2010 issue of Sonoran News somebody's Your View comment included, "I submit town tax revenue and traffic congestion from Walmart are going to be highly disappointing to the citizens. If they want a Scottsdale infrastructure standard, they should begin planning for a new property tax after the Spur Cross bonds are paid off." Judging from a recent editorial, it seems to me that the Cave Creek administration is getting set to extend the tax.

I glanced at a recent Sonoran News photo of the groundbreaking for a new building and was certain I spotted Conan O'Brien standing next to Mayor Francia. With further reading I was disappointed to find it was Vice Mayor Ernie Bunch.