Mullet Over
Oh, how times have changed

By James K. White | May 19, 2010

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James K WhitePerhaps you are aware that asteroids are chunks of rock in orbit around our sun, but are far too small to be planets. What you might not know is that an asteroid named Sylvia 87 has two moons orbiting its mass.

Are you currently experiencing clear skies in your area? Scientists claim that in any given moment, approximately 60 percent of the earth’s firmament is covered by clouds.
In bright sunshine, hairy legs and arms tan (as well as burn) more quickly than do smooth-skin areas. The reason is that water and perspiration cling to hair and act to magnify the intensity of the sun’s rays.

Folks studying common house dust have discovered that a normal human adult will shed 7 million (not exactly) skin flakes each minute. This constant litter of organic bits is thought to be parts of the trails that tracking bloodhounds can follow.

Some parents of baseball players will likely be purchasing a recently marketed pocket-sized radar gun (weighs less than 5 oz.). One merely points and triggers the device. Readings are averred to be accurate to the nearest mph. I was temporarily considering a purchase to evaluate my fastball, but the gadget retails for $250 and measures only up to 375 mph.

Oh, how times have changed. The very first Academy Awards ceremony (1929) was observed live by fewer than 250 people and the entire event lasted 15 minutes.

Doh! In the movie Zulu (set in the 1800’s), several of the Zulu Warriors in the battle scenes were wearing wristwatches.

I must remember on my next holiday break (I wish) that various restaurants on the Italian Riviera traditionally place one stone from an ocean or sea into each pot of brewed soup.
Medical phraseology for a black eye is bilateral periorbital hematoma. Buccula is the medical term for “double chin.” I think I may be developing a bi-buccula.

Statistics indicate that men are more likely to be left-handed than are women.
In Alabama, one can be fined and imprisoned for a year for pretending to be a nun. (Section 13A-14-4)

Famous figure skater Sonja Henie revolutionized ice skating attire for women. Well into the 1900s female skaters typically wore long black confining skirts.

Are you bothered by trolls? It might be helpful to know that according to Scandinavian troll experts, the gruesome creatures will become brittle and shatter when exposed to direct sunlight. Well, avoid bilateral periorbital hematomas and have a splendid week.

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Deaf wife – priceless

A man feared his wife wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might need a hearing aid.

Not quite sure how to approach her, he called the family doctor to discuss the problem.
The doctor told him there is a simple informal test the husband could perform to give the doctor a better idea about her hearing loss.

Here's what you do," said the doctor," stand about 40 feet away from her, and in a normal conversational speaking tone see if she hears you.

If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.

That evening, the wife is in the kitchen cooking dinner, and he was in the den. He says to himself, "I'm about 40 feet away, let's see what happens."

Then in a normal tone he asks, “Honey, what's for dinner?”

No response.

So the husband moves closer to the kitchen, about 30 feet from his wife and repeats,

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Still no response.

Next he moves into the dining room where he is about 20 feet from his wife and asks,

"Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again he gets no response.

So, he walks up to the kitchen door, about 10 feet away. "Honey, what's for dinner?"

Again there is no response.

So he walks right up behind her ... "Honey, what's for dinner?"

(I just love this)

"Ralph, for THE FIFTH time, chicken!"

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Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
Emotions are excitable this week; use caution with a mate. A practical mindset is the way to approach decisions. Enjoy a social scene with friends.

TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
Conversations can be profound; listen carefully. Take on a household chore, put things in order – it will do you a world of good as a calming force.

Facing relationships will be a challenge and a feeling of uncertainty surrounds you. You are easily influenced by the whims of others, so beware.

Loving Venus moves into your sign, which brings social issues or concerns. Certain conversations may not land on your favorite topics, but be polite.

LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
Trust your intuition on the job. Originality and independence are rewarded. A good conversation may clear the air and bring good news for your future.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
Compromise is needed with your loved ones; it will be especially important to put your selfish feelings on the back burner. Some Virgos will encounter a lucky break.

LIBRA (SEPT. 24- OCT.23)
You’re more than happy to go the extra mile for a loved one. A quiet, low key time with good friends brings you needed relaxation. Make a special treat for your mate.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
Ask the right questions before leaping to decision too quickly. The Sun’s sign change signals a need for you to step back from your hectic life.

You may have doubts about a co-worker or health this week. It may feel like you are being pulled in several different directions to the point of aggravation.

A change or a new arrival may appear on the work scene; it may be an interesting situation. If you are around a younger child be extra attentive.

Close partnerships, especially romantic ones, will be tested this week. Someone may need some extra tenderness. If you take the time it will be well worth it.

PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
Don’t shy away from duties at work; you may receive a nice gift for doing the right things. A relationship may take a wrong turn because of harsh words.