APRIL 1, 2015
Snor 'N Snews ... April Fools page
Castle Megastore looking to locate in Cave Creek
CAVE CREEK – Last week, Planning Director Ian Cordwell was contacted by Castle Megastore Group, Inc., the nation’s largest retailer of adult merchandise, about submitting an application for a general plan amendment and rezoning with plans to build a new store on the Bob Kite property in the center of Cave Creek behind the post office.
If town council does not approve the application, representatives from Castle said they are also working with the Bullington family to strike a deal to build on their property at the southeast corner of Cave Creek Road and Carefree Highway.
However, Castle said the Bullington property, while it is a preferable location on Carefree Highway next to Walmart and already has general commercial zoning in place, is somewhat less desirable because the Bullingtons are only interested in leasing the land rather than selling it.
Castle representatives believe Cave Creek, with its marijuana dispensary, gun stores, large pawn shop, numerous bars and notoriety as a biker destination, is the ideal location for a new store.
According to Cordwell, the case could come before the planning commission as early as June.
Citizens of Cave Creek to consider banning motorcycles
Prompted by parking issues, noise and accidents
CAVE CREEK – For years, residents of Cave Creek have struggled with an increasing number of motorcycles on every sunny day. The influx worsens at certain times of the year, especially summer. And here comes summer.
Finally citizens of Cave Creek are going to get to decide if they want to continue allowing motorcycles within the boundaries of the town of Cave Creek.
The decision will affect the town proper, not zip code 85331, which includes a large section of north Phoenix.
Because elections were just held in Cave Creek, the town will use poll takers to collect the data. The language for the questions is now being written. The poll beings on April 1 and concludes on April 31.
Watch for poll takers and make sure your voice is heard.
If citizens decide to ban motorcycles, there will be a community motorcycle sale on May 9, 2015. It will be advertised nationally and will attract collectors as well as serious bikers from across the country.
Residents who choose not to sell their motorcycles will have to haul them out of town to ride them in the event the vote is against allowing them within the boundaries of Cave Creek.
If the ban passes, road closures due to motorcycle parking will be a part of Cave Creek history.
Anthropoid primates to marry
SAN DIEGO – Pictured near the San Diego Zoo, Doctor Steele Coddington on the left, is shown reading the Sunday funnies to a highly trained ape, "Huggieboo." Dr. Coddington, formerly a reporter and columnist for Sonoran News recently completed his doctoral degree in Animal Psychiatry specializing in advanced development of anthropoid primates.
As part of his doctorate dissertation he participated in programs conducted by the London School of Veterinary Medicine developing extra sensory perception of apes. "Huggieboo," a primate whose IQ and sense of smell are helping coordinate Department of the Army defensive tactics that can detect explosives up to 100 feet away. He will be marrying his primate girl friend Lillie next week. Dr. Coddington will act as Best Man. Invitations can be obtained at the local Dept. of Defense Office for the Ethical Advancement of Apes, Division A.F.
New crop pollinator discovered in Arizona
It has recently become known a tiny, translucent green spider is doing something only flying insects have done in the past – pollinating crops.
It’s the biggest boon to agribusiness in Arizona since the gasoline engine.
Bee colonies have been under siege and are often unhealthy and in many cases failing. Finally there is a solution to the problem. The Arizona species is related to the green lynx spider.
Normally a spider would not be considered viable as a pollinator but this is the fastest moving spider researchers have ever seen.
A local entrepreneur is breeding them for transport to farming operations around the area and the nation.
