APRIL FOOLS ISSUE, 2014
Snor 'n Snews
April Fools news
Carefree moves to annex Cave Creek
Future of Cave Creek Town Council is unknown
By Shari Jo Sorchych
CAREFREE – In a bold move closely following the consolidation of the Carefree and Cave Creek courts, the Town of Carefree has made a move to annex Cave Creek.
The opportunity for discussion arose during a recent Executive Session of the Carefree Town Council. How the news was leaked from the Executive Session to Sonoran News is under investigation. Undoubtedly, there will be charges levied against the person responsible for its release.
Sonoran News continues to pursue information to pass along to our readers, especially Cave Creek residents, about the proposed timeline for the annexation, what it means as far as retaining the Town of Cave Creek name and whether or not Carefree will continue efforts to acquire the new land which is targeted for preservation, as is the wish of the citizens of Cave Creek.
Whether or not the Carefree Town Council will take control of the Cave Creek town staff, there by eliminating the need for the Cave Creek Town Council, including the mayor, remains unknown. Control of the budget, planning and zoning, public safety, utilities, development fees, etc. are all up for discussion since the towns are so close and it would be possible to save tens of thousands if not hundreds of thousands of dollars each year by eliminating duplication of services.
The timing of the annexation could render moot the current recall of the existing Cave Creek Town Council members. Legal questions about the impact of the annexation on the recall and the upcoming election will be addressed when the timing of these events is known.
Asteroid discovered in Cave Creek Wash
CAVE CREEK – A round, flat piece of rock sticking up out of the fine dirt left after intense flooding in Cave Creek Wash has been identified as an asteroid.
Normally, a crater is created when an asteroid lands and the asteroid is charred from the heat caused by friction in the atmosphere.
In this case, however, it has been determined the asteroid landed during a major flood. The water flow allowed for a splash landing; the noise was covered by the roar of the flood waters.
The water flow was strong enough to disturb its descent and leave it only partly buried in the fine soil that was left after the flood waters receded. The charred section was buried, leaving no visible evidence of its nature.
Astronomers from the National Space Investigators Organization have been brought in. They will be examining the material in an effort to determine from where it came and approximately when it landed. It will soon be on display at a soon to be announced location.
Obama admin releases criminal aliens who sign up for Obamacare
By Linda Bentley
BROWNSVILLE, Texas – In light of extremely disappointing enrollment numbers, on Monday, March 31, the last day to sign up for the Affordable Care ACT, otherwise known as Obamacare, the Obama administration directed Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) officials to release criminal aliens if they agreed to sign up for insurance.
A group of more than 100 criminal aliens arrested by ICE in Brownsville on Monday morning were escorted to buses where Spanish-speaking navigators not only helped enroll the illegal aliens in Obamacare, but registered them to vote as well.
The group of aliens was skeptical at first until they received personal assurances from President Obama that ICE would not retain any information on their illegal or criminal status if they agreed to sign up for his signature health care program.
Because the illegal aliens arrested on Monday were all unemployed in this country, they all qualified for 100 percent subsidized insurance.
American citizens in Brownsville, who attempted to sign up at any one of the buses, were turned away.
Brownsville citizen Ofelia Bustamente, who couldn’t afford any of the health insurance plans available under Obamacare and wanted to obtain subsidized health insurance, said she was turned away and told the navigators were only there to sign up illegal aliens as they crossed the border from Matamoros, Mexico.
CAVE CREEK – Local entrepreneur Babe Underall recently opened her new business, Come on Inn, to the delight of many members of our local community. Town Hall has been overrun by complainants with respect to Ms. Underall’s business.