APRIL FOOLS, 2013

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BY SHARI JO SORCHYCH | APRIL 1, 2013

COWBOYS IN SPEEDOSCave Creek Cowboy of the Year contest now open

CAVE CREEK – Most major town events including the ever popular Wild West Days and Fiesta Days™ Pro Rodeo involve naming and crowning a queen. Cave Creek has made a bold move in announcing a contest to name the Cave Creek Cowboy of the Year. The winner will represent the town for an entire year.

All entrants are required to prove they are genuine cowboys. A panel of judges is now being selected which will interview each contestant. In addition there will be two competitive events – Bathing Suit and Western Duds.

Entry forms are available on the official website: CaveCreekCowboyoftheYear.com.

The contest will remain open until Friday, August 30. Interviews will be conducted as contestants present themselves for consideration. The Bathing Suit and Western Duds competitions will take place on Friday, September 6.

The panel of judges will name the top three contestants who will then compete for the title. The public will be invited to participate in the judging process during the final title competition. Winner of the public vote will count as one third of the tabulation. Winner of the vote by the panel of judges will count as two thirds of the tabulation.

Courtesy Photo - realguysinspeedos.blogspot.com

BY LINDA BENTLEY | APRIL 1, 2013

Indigenous man found in Tonto ‘macramé hut’

TONTO NATIONAL FOREST – U.S. Forest Service rangers came across a hut in a remote area of Tonto National Forest that appears to be occupied by a non-English-speaking indigenous man whom they believe may be a descendant of the prehistoric Hohokam Indians who vanished from the area around 1450 A.D.

macrame shackThe shack, which rangers are calling the “macramé hut” contained several macramé pieces, including a hammock, carrying bag and blankets the man indicated he crafted from indigenous plants and shells found in the wash.

Rangers said his macramé pieces were “outstanding” and “very resourceful.”

The U.S. Forestry Service is attempting to not only identify the man, who appears to be in his mid to late 40s, but also the language he speaks, which, so far, has proven to be a language unfamiliar to the various translators they’ve contacted.

In an area not far from the shack, the man had a small farm with an elaborate irrigation system, much like that of the Hohokams, to bring water from a nearby creek to his farm plot.
Rangers said finding the man they’ve dubbed Sihkiss, which means “friend” in Navajo, is reminiscent of the story about Ishi, the last surviving member of the Yahi, the last surviving group of Yana people in California.

Ishi emerged from the wild near Oroville, Calif. in 1911 at around 49 years of age. Ishi was taken in by anthropologists at the University of California, Berkeley, where he was both studied and hired as a research assistant.

He lived out most of the remaining five years of his life in a university building in San Francisco.
Tonto rangers who stumbled across Sihkiss living in the abandoned shack believe their find is more significant than that of Ishi and have contacted ASU’s Indigenous Studies Department to assist in determining Sihkiss’ identity and tribal origins.

grumpy catBY LINDA BENTLEY | APRIL 3, 2013

Grumpy Cat missing, feared kidnapped

MORRISTOWN – Yesterday Tabatha “Tabby” Bundensen reported her cat Tardar Sauce, called Tard for short and known as the Internet sensation Grumpy Cat, missing. Bundensen fears she may have been kidnapped.

Tard, an Internet celebrity that has appeared on numerous television shows, including the Today Show, Good Morning America and Anderson Live because of her grumpy facial expression, was last seen Sunday evening playing with her brother Pokey in Bundensen’s back yard.

Bundensen said Pokey came in for supper but Tard, who is usually right behind him, was nowhere to be found.

Tard is a mixed breed cat that will be 1 on April 4.

Her mother was a Calico Domestic Short Hair and the cat they believe is her father has grey and white stripes. However, Bundensen said they are not 100 percent sure who the father is.

Tard appears to be part Ragdoll or Snowshoe and her grumpy expression is from feline dwarfism and an under bite, birth defects that are likely caused by inbreeding.

Grumpy Cat is also undersized and has “different” hind legs.

While Tard has a perpetually grumpy face, Bundensen says she is a happy cat and it is Pokey that has the grumpy disposition.

According to the Maricopa County Sherrif’s Office report, Tard has never failed to come inside for dinner.

When they questioned Bundensen’s neighbors, one said he saw an unfamiliar red pickup truck near the house at the time Tard appeared to have gone missing.

The neighbor told deputies he didn’t think anything of it at the time because he didn’t know Tard was missing and it never ocurred to him to take down the make, model and license of the truck. He said he just assumed it was someone visiting the Bundensens.

Anyone with information about the red truck spotted in Morristown Sunday evening at around 5 p.m. should contact the Maricopa County Sheriff’s Office at 602-555-1212 and ask for Detective Pickens, who has been assigned to the case.

Pickens said there are no suspects at this time and red truck is simply an investigative lead and there was no word yet whether a reward was being offered.

BY LINDA BENTLEY | APRIL 3, 2013

Gun manufacturer moving production to Mexico

Name change necessary due to move

grenade launcherUSA – Following a March 28 conference call with investors, Clive Ensen, CEO and president and manager of Guns in America, announced it will be moving the production of its 40 mm grenade launcher and battle pistols for which it has received design awards, to Mexico.

Ensen said new laws being proposed in the wake of the Sandy Hook school massacre and other shootings, has left him feeling unwelcome in the United States of America where his company has made its home for nearly 200 years.

Proposed legislation includes a gun offender registry, an expanded assault weapons ban, ammunition restrictions and a ban on bulk purchases of handguns.

Guns in America’s Manufacturing Vice President Jive Jensen said the measures being pushed have placed Guns in America and its nearly 10,000 employees in jeopardy.

While Jensen was anticipating the move, he said he has not yet held a follow up conference call with investors to discuss the matter.

He also said on Monday, since the company will likely be relocated, it will be necessary after almost 200 years to rename the company. Consideration is being given to Guns in Mexico, Gun Traders South and other names.

While Mexican citizens are prohibited from owning firearms and Mexican President Felipe Calderon has repeatedly called for a revival of the ban on assault weapons, he welcomed Guns in America’s move to Mexico.

Calderon said he believes the manufacture of these weapons in Mexico will reduce cross-border smuggling by drug cartels and sales of guns to cartels.

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