Spoof Space
BY STEELE CODDINGTON | JULY 18, 2012
Patient with no doctor
One reason I’ve become such a widely recognized philosopher is because of my dog Arbuckle. It’s good to know that even Border Collies can simplify complexities that baffle the supreme leaders of our imperial government. Even a dog can provide a new kind of “hope” unencumbered by the radical “change” that has been the dirty diaper of Obama’s liberalism. Here is Arbuckle’s July 2012 tale. “First it helps to think of America as a sick patient with a national doctor practicing without a license. Most people know when they are sick. Countries are no different. The national sickness manifests itself in public expressions like, ‘We’re in deep doo-doo.!’ And the ailment soon progresses into a kind of Kevorkian suspicion. ‘Is my doctor competent or just another quack?’ It’s easy to surrender to the Kevorkian rationale. But our leader’s persuasive misdiagnosis disguises treatments designed for self destruction. You and the country soon become addicted to the wrong medicine or treatment and regress into the condition psychiatrists label as “the entitlement mentality.”
A significant majority have recently bought into this new sickness. Arbuckle characterizes it in the dog world as “a mental condition so self-serving you don’t care any more whose lawn you poo on. You’ve been relieved and someone else has to clean it up.” The disease is gaining recognition as the Obama Rot, increasingly a public contamination that only a new set of doctors and quarantine can resolve.
Slowly, the germ causing the disease is being isolated by patriots in small e-mails, articles and blogs. From “In search of Americanism,” by Ned Ryun, American Spectator: “The progressive Left succeeds ... by balkanizing the electorate with ‘isms,’ to conquer and divide ... communism, socialism, collectivism, etc., etc. where man exists for the state; all anti-thetical to a country founded on the fundamental belief that government exists for the people.” (A constitutional republic.)
From: repeated proclamation of Winston Churchill’s wisdom: “Socialism is a philosophy of failure, the creed of ignorance, and the gospel of envy. Its inherent virtue is the equal sharing of misery.”
From: an Investors Business Daily editorial on a practical level: “Unemployment has topped 8 percent for 41 straight months ... the rate would jump to 11 percent if you would add the millions who have given up looking for work ... the longest jobs recession since the Great Depression ... the number of start-up firms has crashed ... employees at start-ups have plunged.”
From: Charles Hugh Smith, “Of two minds.com” on “Why a small business man can’t hire you”: “Consider the tax on a sole proprietor who wants to hire someone ... 15.3 percent Social Security/Medicare – after deductions Federal income tax 15 percent, plus 25 percent on all income above $34,800 – state income tax (his) 5 percent - $12,000/year on base-bones healthcare (another 15 percent) and property tax another $12,000 (15 percent). Above $35,000 my tax burden is 15%+25%
+5%+15%+15% = 75%”
The list goes on and on, a Post Office losing $25 million a day; food stamps for 44.7 million people providing a new middle class entitlement costing $78 billion; household wealth dropping 40 percent in the last 3 measured years. To reelect the current doctor of our economy would be like the Titanic backing up and hitting the iceberg again.
James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at [email protected].
Verbs has to agree with their subjects.
Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.
It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
Avoid clichés like the plague. They're old hat.
Always avoid annoying alliteration.
Be more or less specific.
Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are (usually) unnecessary.
One should never generalize.
Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
Also, too, never, ever use repetitive redundancies.
No sentence fragments. No comma splices, run-ons are bad too.
Contractions aren't helpful and shouldn't be used.
Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
Do not be redundant; do not use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
Don't use no double negatives.
Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
One-word sentences? Eliminate.
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