Mullet Over

BY JAMES K. WHITE  | NOVEMBER 30, 2011

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mullet overKetchup-flavored ice cream

Until the late 1800s, eyeglasses were considered to be a luxury item too expensive for most people to afford.

Here is some disturbing information: During the last ten years, more Americans have died from overdosing with prescription painkillers than from either cocaine or heroin.

There are at least 136 distinct species of the agave plant and several are used to produce various alcoholic beverages. However, all genuine tequila is made using only the blue agave.

The first major league baseball All-Star game was played in July of 1933 at Comiskey Park in Chicago. All net proceeds ($45,000) were purportedly used to fund a special home for aged and indigent former major leaguers.

A group of egrets (wading birds) in the Caribbean region have been observed to stand on one foot and then wiggle toes attached to the other foot in order to successfully lure fish.

It is estimated that unfortunate wild animals in the U.S. have deadly encounters with motor vehicles at the rate of two per minute twenty-four hours a day.

In Saratoga, New York there is a statue of a boot. The sculpture was erected to honor the now infamous Benedict Arnold. The military leader was celebrated as a patriotic hero prior to his treacherous acts concerning West Point.

The area encompassed by the nation of Brazil is larger than the combined areas of all 48 contiguous states in the United States.

King Edmund II and King George II, both monarchs of England, died while in “the privy.”

The Soviet Union detonated its first nuclear weapon on August 29, 1949 and the detonation was a shock to the United States military community. Harry Truman was president and he was stunned. Our “intelligence” had indicated that a successful nuclear device was years away for the Soviets. This one event signaled that a huge arms race was underway.

A brief history of Thanksgiving Day in America: George Washington signed a proclamation designating November 26, 1789 as a day of National Thanksgiving. On October 3, 1863, the U.S. Congress passed and Abraham Lincoln later signed a proclamation declaring the last Thursday in each November to be a Day of Thanksgiving. In 1941, President Franklin Roosevelt signed a law that named the fourth Thursday of each November as Thanksgiving Day.

Okay, it was not a featured item for very long, but Baskin-Robbins once made a ketchup-flavored ice cream. Yummy. Well, should you attempt the egret toe-wiggling technique, bear in mind that you may receive requests to explain your behavior.

James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at [email protected].


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Shipwreck

An old boy booked himself on a Caribbean cruise and proceeded to have the time of his life, that is, until the ship sank.

He soon found himself on an island with no other people, no supplies, nothing, only bananas and coconuts.

After about four months, he is lying on the beach one day when the most gorgeous woman he has ever seen rows up to the shore.

In disbelief, he asks, "Where did you come from? How did you get here?"

She replies, "I rowed over from the other side of the island where I landed when my cruise ship sank."

"Amazing," he notes. "You were really lucky to have a row boat wash up with you."

"Oh, this thing?" explains the woman. "I made the boat out of some raw material I found on the island. The oars were whittled from gum tree branches. I wove the bottom from palm tree branches, and the sides and stern came from a Eucalyptus tree."

"But, where did you get the tools?"

"Oh, that was no problem," replied the woman. "On the south side of the island, a very unusual stratum of alluvial rock is exposed. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into ductile iron I used that to make tools and used the tools to make the hardware."

The guy is stunned.

"Let's row over to my place," she says.

So, after a short time of rowing, she soon docks the boat at a small wharf.

As the man looks to shore, he nearly falls off the boat. Before him is a long stone walk leading to a cabin and tree house.

While the woman ties up the rowboat with an expertly woven hemp rope, the man can only stare ahead, dumb struck. As they walk into the house, she says casually, "It's not much, but I call it home. Sit down, please."

"Would you like a drink?"

"No! No thank you," the man blurts out, still dazed. "I can't take another drop of coconut juice."

"It's not coconut juice," winks the woman. "I have a still. How would you like a Tropical Spritz?"

Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepts, and they sit down on her couch to talk.

After they exchange their individual survival stories, the woman announces, "I'm going to slip into something more comfortable. Would you like to take a shower and shave? There's a razor in the bathroom cabinet upstairs."

No longer questioning anything, the man goes upstairs into the bathroom. There, in the cabinet is a razor Made from a piece of tortoise bone. Two shells honed to a hollow ground edge are fastened on to its end inside a swivel mechanism.

"This woman is amazing," he muses. "What's next?"

When he returns, she greets him wearing nothing but some small flowers on tiny vines, each strategically positioned, she smelled faintly of gardenias.

She then beckons for him to sit down next to her.

"Tell me," she begins suggestively, slithering closer to him, "We've both been out here for many months. You must have been lonely. When was the last time you played around?"
She stares into his eyes.

He can't believe what he's hearing. "You mean..." he swallows excitedly as tears start to form in his eyes, wait for it.....................

"You've built a Golf Course?"

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