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BY STEELE CODDINGTON  | AUGUST 17, 2011

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The wisdom of the animals

Steele coddingtonOne of the serious questions the Tea Party people are asking about the obscene spending by Democrats in Washington is, “What are they smoking up there?” The conspiracy of The Dunces on TV, led by Axelrod, Kerry and Obama, in the greatest switch of blame ever perpetrated in America, accused the Tea Party of causing the U.S. credit downgrade. When people are guilty as sin, they like to point fingers somewhere else. But who did the spending? The great spending debacle is squarely at the shifty feet of The Squirrelly Dunces, Pelosi, Reid, a Democrat president, Senate and House who spent us into the downgrade using voodoo economics, reckless government expansion, unwanted healthcare and wasted stimulus expenditures.

When you hear the twisted logic of the false accusations, you wonder if you are hearing the voices of Castro, Chavez or Saul Alinsky saying, “We spent the money, but the downgrade is your fault.” The Alinsky brainwash ideology is loud and clear. “If something is black, tell them it’s really white. If something is good, tell them it’s bad. Don’t worry about back lash – 50 percent of the people will believe anything you tell them.” The liberal mantra, “If we screw up, it’s your fault,” is a bankrupt economic program about as credible as blaming the rape victim for committing the crime.

Watching The Dunces accusations against the Tea Party on TV was like watching the ignorance recorded by the oafs being interviewed on a typical random TV street interview. What they and The Dunces need is basic education. So I brought together a group of intelligent animals I live with to present their lessons on Spending and Taxes for Dummies 101.

Spending – by professor Arbuckle, my dog: In my family, and I’m sure in yours, when we spend more money than we earn (revenue) common sense says, let’s rein it in. Some have money saved, which can tide them over. But if we don’t, we reduce our expenses and live within our means. A lot of dogs leave messes for someone else to clean up. Washington needs to stop acting like dogs who mess up. Final Dog Message: “When dogs bark, danger lurks. I’m barking at Obama.”

Taxes – by professor Queenie, my flatulating mare: Obama’s strategic economic plan is, “We’ve got what it takes to take what you’ve got.” Here’s some good horse sense – the more you take from me in taxes, the less I have to spread around (buy) to help local businesses and the economy. It is a FACT that every reduction in business and personal taxation ever enacted resulted in increased government revenue. Increased revenue from a tax cut will bring in twice the pitiful revenue derived from increasing taxes on the so-called rich jet owners, job creators, business owners and investors. I’m an expert at knowing when something smells bad, and nothing smells worse than class warfare based on increased taxes.

Conclusion – by my wise old owl, Dr. Hoot: Here’s a very simple analogy in a rewrite of America’s favorite song:
“Oh, if I become a plump and juicy meatball,
That is what I’d really rather be,
Just to stop the over-spending liberals
From taking bigger tax bites out of me.

Oh, unless they really stop their awful spending’
There will soon be nothing left for me
To buy that super plump and tasty meatball
Because they’ve taken everything from me.

Makes good sense to everyone I sing it to.


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Murphy’s other 15 laws ...

1. Light travels faster than sound ... which is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
2. A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
3. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
4. A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
5. Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
6. Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
7. Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
8. The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90 percent probability you'll get it wrong.
9. It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end-to-end, someone from California would be stupid enough to try to pass them.
10. If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
11. The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
12. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
13. Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
14. The shin bone is a device for finding furniture in the dark.
15. When you go into court, you are putting yourself in the hands of twelve people who weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.

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