Spoof Space

BY STEELE CODDINGTON | AUGUST 3, 2011

Names ... how we got them … maybe!

Why did Mom and Dad name their child Harry or Larry or Carrie or Mary or anything else?  Did they unconsciously sentence their children, or did something else influence the choice?  That is why you can never really knock another person for their name – they didn’t do the dirty deed.  And re Harry, Larry, Carrie and Mary, no disparagement intended.  All delightful names.  But how do names come about?

Most people don’t decide their children’s names for superficial reasons.  You know, “Let’s call him Alfonse after Uncle Alfonse.  He’s rich and might leave him some money.  Or maybe leave it to us.  Or treat us nice from now on and either come see us more often – or preferably never come to see us again.”

But it’s fun to speculate on why or how someone got tagged with what people will call him or her for the rest of their life.  What prompts a parent to name a son Moe?  Did they just like its single syllable simplicity or how it rolled off the tongue with ease and grace, or was it inspiration?  It’s easy.  I like it. Or the name Dee Dee?  Did the DD stand for Delightful Darling or did some tired father at 2 a.m. have to change a Dirty Diaper?

A lot of experts will give you clues on how a name comes about as the appellation that is affixed to our body and soul.  According to differing sources, America’s favorite top 10 names for males seem to be:  Jacob, Ethan, Michael, Jaydan, William, Alexander, Noah, Daniel, Aiden and Anthony.  The top 10 for females seem to be:  Isabella, Sophia, Emma, Olivia, Ava, Emily, Abigail, Madison, Chloe and Mia.  So what drives the choice of names?  And what sparked my interest?  Well it wasn’t any of the favorites; it was an article concerning Reggie Jackson’s memorabilia that coincidentally mentioned his mother whose name is Resurrection.  There’s a name!  A name that makes you wonder how it came about and is it abbreviated or broken up when used – like Penelope-Penny, Dorothy-Dotty or Dot? A lady I know named Dorothy resents any calling of her by the mark ending a sentence on a piece of paper – Dot!  Isabelle-Izzy?  Little Lord Fauntleroy-Faunty?

Names seem to come from an origin that has meaning or value to those doing the naming.  Some like its sound, others duplicate popular or famous peoples’ names because they are acceptably received.  Elvis, for example, was on the short list for years and just recently dropped off.  People unfortunately may not realize the importance of a name in the life of the namee.  Will it make the person named feel good about the name?  It will cause others to judge them in ways that can influence their jobs, associations and friendships.  Experts say your name can easily influence your career path, or even who you may marry.  A person named Garfunkle is more likely to marry someone else named Garfunkle – because experts surmise that we are unconsciously attracted to people who remind us of ourselves.  Laura Ingraham in her new book “Of thee I zing” devotes a few pages to the absurdity of some celebrities’ children’s names, with priceless comments and the conclusion that, “One day these children are going to grow up and they will either legally change their names or just march into their parents’ bedroom one night and beat them to a pulp.”

I have a better idea.  If you resent the name your parents gave you, change it to a name like owners of race horses use, just to get even.  A few running at Saratoga recently are great – Beauty in the Pulpit, Miss Bikini Bottom, Clap of Thunder, I Ain’t No Saint, and don’t forget Portia can be a name or a car.

Idle thoughts of a retiree’s wandering mind

I planted some bird seed. A bird came up.  Now I don't know what to feed it.

I had amnesia once ... or twice.

I went to San Francisco. I found someone's heart.  Now what?

Protons have mass?  I didn't even know they were Catholic.

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

If the world were a logical place, men would be the ones who ride horses sidesaddle.

What is a "free" gift?  Aren't all gifts free?

They told me I was gullible and I believed them.

Teach a child to be polite and courteous in the home and, when he grows up, he'll never be able to merge his car onto the freeway.

Experience is the thing you have left when everything else is gone.

One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.

My weight is perfect for my height -- which varies.

I used to be indecisive.  Now I'm not sure.

How can there be self-help "groups?"

If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who can't get his pants off.

Is it me – or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

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Aug 3 – 9, 2011

For All Signs:   You have probably noticed that between June 1 and July 16 everything in motion picked up to a rapid pace.  Probably you experienced at least one or two activities that happened much faster than was expected in the beginning.  Now, with Mercury retrograding, it is time to pull back and regroup.  The pace slows while we rethink our plans or double check the facts.  We would prefer to remain in the driven mode, now that Mars is entering Cancer.  But woe be unto those who ignore the nagging thought in the back of the mind that tells us to “measure twice, cut once.”
Aries:  You are likely to feel compelled to take on a major project requiring the use of your large muscles.  If this is a simple alteration you have already planned and you can get it done very quickly, it will probably go fine.  If otherwise, think again until Mercury goes direct on the 26th.  On the weekend your reflexes are not at their best.
Taurus:  If you are not conscious, you could be pulled into schemes of manipulation or compulsive behaviors.  Existing relationships could re-experience the pain of old wounds.  You have a choice of whether to work it through or act it out in the same ways as the first time.  You will be steadier at the end of the week.
Gemini:  You are tempted to make a moderately significant purchase and will probably do so.  Then as the week moves forward you will reconsider the expense of it and decide you didn’t really need the item anyway.  When you return it, you might not be completely honest about why.
Cancer:  Mars, the warrior, enters your sign this week and will be traveling with you for six weeks.  This energy is especially helpful in defining our boundaries.  Periodically we need to examine who we are and also who we are not.  The sensitive Crab does not like a scene.  Think about who has overstepped boundaries for three weeks and plan how you will protect yourself.
Leo the Lion:  Changes may be occurring in your primary relationship.  One or the other of you is probably trying to hang onto what is familiar.  Changes and growth must be allowed to happen or the relationship will become stale.  Let things flow naturally. Don't jump to conclusions or make problems bigger than they are.
Virgo: Be careful of what you say and of whom you speak at the beginning of the week.  By the 8th you may wish you had never opened your mouth.  Others are especially sensitive and may misunderstand your intention.  It is a challenge to soften a statement that has already been made.
Libra:  It is necessary that you give attention to an issue of control that threatens to split one or more of your relationships.  Either one of you may be the one who is seeking power and it may be quite subtle.  Step aside from attempting to get what you want through manipulation.
Scorpio:   Your restless mind wants to move in a new direction.  It will likely be related to contacting people at a distance, preparing to travel, seeking professional advice, or focused on education.  You would rather plan a vacation than attend to problematic relationship issues at home.  Who wouldn’t?
Sagittarius: Warning to those on diet and exercise programs:  this week it is just too easy to break training.  If you mean what you've promised to yourself, don't go anywhere in which you would be in harm's way.  It is a time in which you feel more outgoing and extroverted.  Social life is a pleasure.
Capricorn:  Social and romantic life is favored this week, particularly over the weekend.  You may be mixing business and pleasure in a pleasant combination.  This is a good time to discuss issues within a relationship because you are steady of mind and likely to be realistic, in relation to yourself as well as others.  You intend to keep your promises.
Aquarius:  You are happy to allow your partner or a special friend to plan the activities you share this week.  This is a really good time to communicate, work things out together, and play.  The partner is in a dominant position, so be sure you convey what is important to you and that your plans together are fair.
Pisces:  Aspects are especially favorable for fun. Your muse is present for creative activities.  Love and social life are in a peak time.  Activities involving your children will be positive and memorable for them.  Near the 8th someone breaks a promise or goes back on his/her previous word.  Maybe it is you.

Are you interested in a personal horoscope?  Vivian Carol may be reached at 704-366-3777 for private psychotherapy or astrology appointments. (There is a fee.)www.horoscopesbyvivian.com