Mullet Over

One needs to exercise self control in Nevada

By James K. White | November 4, 2009

james k whiteMadagascar, that large island just off the east coast of Africa, is home to at least 10,000 species of plants and animals that are found nowhere else on earth. Scientists are alarmed concerning the effects that exploitation and human encroachment are having on Madagascar’s unique biology.

Those who travel should be aware that all of the McDonald’s in Iceland are scheduled to close down because of sagging sales in the region.

If any readers out there are fans of the soft drink TAB, it might have been a while since they have seen their favorite beverage available for purchase. However, I was surprised that Coke still makes the once trendy pop and more than 3,000,000 cases were sold in 2008.

Perhaps it would be worthwhile to check your old collections to determine whether a 1909 Honus Wagner baseball card (T206) could be lying about. Last year such an item was sold for $2,800,000. Actually, I have never known anyone named Honus. I wonder if he was teased as a child.

The largest lake in Europe is named Ladoga and is located in Russia (Karelia) near St. Petersburg. I understand that the perch fishing is rather good in that huge body of fresh water.

For you baseball fans, it could be interesting to know that the number of homeruns necessary to capture the homerun crown has not always been large. In 1902 Thomas Leach led the National League in four-baggers with a total of six. I suppose that was before steroids were so ubiquitous.

One needs to exercise some self control when in Nevada. This is not a reference to the gaming tables. There is a law in the Silver State that prohibits intentional burping or belching during church services. Law NRS 201.270 (in case you want to look it up).

Can folks in your household recall the year 1976? The average price for a McDonald’s cheeseburger was 48 cents and a new invention called a VCR sold for approximately $1600.
The rapper Eminem gave himself that name to represent his initials, M and M. His real name is Marshall Mathers.

What is going on in your garage? Google, and Apple all had their beginnings in home garages.

In ancient Greece, long distances on land were calculated by counting the steps that specially trained men required to travel the designated courses.

Well, behave while in church and have a pleasant week.

James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at

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Bran Muffins

The healthy couple, 85-years-old and 82, had been married for sixty years. Though far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health. This was largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and routine exercise for the last two decades.

One day their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold, marble and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, "Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now."

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost.

"Why, nothing," St. Peter replied, "Remember, this is your reward in Heaven."

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, more beautiful than any ever built on Earth. "What are the greens fees?" grumbled the old man, expecting them to be outrageous.

"This is heaven," St. Peter replied. "You can play for free, every day."

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts and free-flowing beverages.

"Don't even ask," said St. Peter to the man, "This is Heaven. It's all free for you to enjoy."
The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

"Well, where are the low-fat, low-cholesterol foods and the decaffeinated tea?" he asked.
"That's the best part," St. Peter replied, "You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!"
The old man pushed, "No gym to work out at?"

"Not unless you want to," was St. Peter's answer.

"No testing my sugar or blood pressure or ..."

"Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself."

The old man glared at his wife and said, "You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!"