Fenger Pointing
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Becky Fenger | May 20, 2009

Becky FengerWhat a piece of work Vice President Joe Biden is. From all reports, he is a friendly sort. And he earned big points in my book when he simply left the theatre in January upon learning that tickets for the showing of "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button" were sold out After all, he could have pulled rank to gain entrance to the popular movie. But the man raised more than eyebrows this week when he divulged the location of the secret bunker meant to save the life of vice presidents. To a room of journalists! The man doesn't need hair plugs; he needs a plug elsewhere.

President Barack Obama's National Intelligence Director wants our released terrorists to get welfare assistance from U.S. taxpayers. Swell. And does he want us to pay for full body waxing of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, too?

Phoenix Mayor Phil Gordon is totally smitten with the Persian Gulf city of Dubai. So much so that he signed a partnership agreement with His Excellency Hussain Nasser Lootah, director general of Dubai City, last month. Gordon popped the buttons on his white shirt as he gave their delegation a tour of Phoenix sights. Hizzoner hopes to visit Dubai as often as possible. There is one slight problem, though. Does Dubai know that you are Jewish, Phil? Jews are persona non grata there. Or is the thought of a partnership on heavily-subsidized solar energy going to erase those nasty little details?

The Minnesota contest for U.S. Senate between Norm Coleman and comedian Al Franken may not be decided for another year. I sent a check for the court challenge to Coleman, but I don't think he can win. Not when the rules of the recount capriciously change from district to district and overseas ballots are ignored. It's crooked as hell. Consider this: A write-in vote for Frankenstein was counted as a vote for Al Franken!

Arizona's largest newspaper has a weekly feature called "Match Me with My Wheels" in which three local notables describe their vehicles and the reader guesses which ride belongs to which person. Fine. But I was quite taken aback to see who was featured last July 18 and to hear these gentlemen tell us how much they were enamored of their cars: Victor Mendez, (former) director of the Arizona Department of Transportation; Rick Simonetta, CEO of Metro Light Rail; and Eric Anderson, transportation director for the Maricopa Association of Governments. Oh, boy. Their whole lives are devoted to forcing Valleyites out of our cars and into fixed rail transit at an exorbitant cost. That takes nerve to flaunt what they don't want us to use.

Another week three East Valley school superintendents were featured. And their autos? A Cadillac CTS, a Lincoln LS and a BMW 5-series. Not too shabby. But I smiled the week Sandy Bahr, Sierra Club director; Tamera Skrovan, Nature Conservancy; and former Scottsdale Mayor Sam Campana, executive director of the Audubon Arizona appeared. Again, all three would rather spend all transportation monies not on freeways but on bike and hiking paths if they had their way.

OK, gentlemen. Knock it off. This new fashion trend to wear a striped suit with a striped shirt and a striped tie is the worst. Stop it! Even the impeccably dressed (if not grammatically correct) TV anchormen are picking up the look. It's just wrong. Two is bad enough, but three stripes and you're out!

One of the great pleasures in life for my three dogs is chasing the big black birds off our lawn. As I watched them yesterday, I was reminded of the startling event that happened to my feisty neighbor. She was cleaning around her pool when she spotted this huge black bird sitting on her retaining wall. She thought it would fly away, but it didn't. Being an animal lover, she asked the bird: "What are you doing?" The bird replied, "Hi," then hopped down and came running toward her, sending her scrambling for the house. The bird yelled: "Come on in!" It turned out the bird was a raven with quite a vocabulary. Probably someone's pet. He would yell "Help," honk like a Volkswagen and whistle at her. I wonder what he would say if he lived with Joe Biden for awhile.