A Change Of Pace

Spoof Space
“A nation of whiners “ . . . ?

By Steele Coddington | August 6, 2008

Spoof SpaceAccording to all the indignant reports from the biased, error-prone, liberal-loving, distortion-oriented, DNC propaganda machine called the major media, former Texas Senator Phil Gramm referred to the United States as a “nation of whiners.” Strangely, the nation’s biggest group of whiners, the major media, went nuts. They took his supposed remark personally – like a prostitute who is insulted when she’s called a whore.

How could such a self-exalted bunch be insulted when their brainwashed corps, by training and congenital proclivity, is to translate whining into news events? Good grief, any left wing group that doesn’t get a government handout knows the drill. Whine publicly until a liberal reporter or news analyst morphs it into a news story describing them as disenfranchised victims who need another entitlement.

But that’s beside the point. The real story of Senator Gramm’s remark is that the media misheard the Senator. According to a young high school journalist present, the Senator said we are a nation of “wieners” not “whiners.” And apparently the media, or one of its lead reporters simply misunderstood, or misspelled “wieners.” The young journalist said the Senator made the remark as an introduction to a campaign ad using a wiener in a satirical song to ridicule proposed Democrat tax increases.

The idea of biting into an American wiener is revered by America, celebrated at sporting events and beloved by picnickers everywhere.

No one knows for sure what’s really in a wiener. Some are packed with beef, turkey, goose liver, or cats and dogs if they’re from China. But many wieners are also full of baloney and the Senator may have been comparing the media to a wiener full of baloney. He knows very well the American public doesn’t whine. But it’s been as scientifically proven as global warming, hence mere speculation, that one thing we can do better than anyone else is bitch. Especially if we’re from San Francisco or New York City. My first exposure to the practice was in the Army. First we’d have a bull session. Then we’d have a bitch session, followed by a clean-the-latrine detail, followed by another bitch session. It’s very American.

Anyhow, the young high school journalist sang the song to us over the phone and the tune resembled my kids’ favorite hot dog song. But this one was about proposed Democrat tax increases.

“Oh I’d rather be a wiener than a whiner. . .
Because of left-wing taxes drowning me.
‘Cause if I was a wiener not a whiner,
They couldn’t take a tax bite out of me . . .
Yes, if I was a wiener not a whiner,
There would be some money left for me,
And nothing else could make me feel much finer
Than to show them where to take a bite of me.
I’m too poor to give the liberals any money,
So I’m offering them a personal reminder,
That taxes are a joke that isn’t funny,
Raising taxes is like biting my behinder.”

According to recent election polls, the song’s message is resonating with voters even if the lyrics are short of Rogers and Hammerstein. “More wieners, less taxes,” or a lot of politicians’ behinders will be out of office.


The man from Mumbai

We've all spoken to him!

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India.
The Personnel Manager said, "Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job."
Mujibar said, "I am ready."
The manager said, "Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green."
Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "Mister manager, I am ready."
The manager said, "Go ahead."
Mujibar said, "The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say, 'Yellow', this is Mujibar."
Mujibar now works at a call center.
No doubt you have spoken to him. I know I have.