World record for skinny-dipping

God Bless America

One tough granny

A rabid bobcat messed with the wrong granny in Hart County, GA. The Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC] says that when the animal attacked 67-year-old DeDe Phillips recently she fought back. She suffered numerous bites and scratches but managed to grab the cat by the neck, strangling it to death with her bare hands. “It caught me slightly on my face, but I got him before he could do much damage there,” she told reporters. Ms. Phillips had just put a bumper sticker on her truck when the incident occurred. It read: “Women who behave rarely make history.”

New ‘Strip and Dip’ record

Two-thousand-five-hundred-and-five women went to the beach in County Wicklow, Ireland recently and broke the Guinness World Record for skinny-dipping, according to the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. The previous so-called ‘Strip and Dip’ record was set three years ago in Perth, Australia when 786 naked women took the plunge.

Lemon Aid

School’s out for the summer and you can bet that there will be kids setting up their lemonade stands all across the country. You can also bet on hearing and reading stories of how some local officials are fining the kids for setting up shop without a permit. But, says the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC], this year young entrepreneurs have a patron who will pay the fines for them. The makers of Country Time Lemonade have announced a program they call Country Time Legal-Ade. It will cover any such fine up to $300 that may be imposed on kids up to 14 years of age.