Do you want a burkini in your back yard?

Steele Coddington

It seems like the level of idiocy of the presidential campaign has gotten well beyond the throwing of an ordinary pie in the face of a competitor. What’s really going on behind the scenes hasn’t been reported by the cowardly liberal press to protect the public from hearing things about the candidates that might indicate the need for psychiatric help. Only horses, disguised as reporters, can report the truth with impunity. They aren’t afraid of being referred to as “horses’ butts,” so they can reveal the imbecility that characterizes most liberal rallies.

So I thought I’d take my dog Arbuckle down to our barn with me to see what our horses had to neigh, er, say, about the insanity of the participants in liberal rallies. While we always keep the barnyard clean of manure, the odor seems to linger to the level of reporting, and columns produced by the New York Times, Washington Post and major TV channels. But compared to the amount of news transformed into BS by those organizations, the odor of our manure might be considered up-lifting.

Here’s what my animals reported: Arbuckle, my Border Collie, who has more common sense than any Harvard Law School graduate, has been counseling our two horses, Queenie and her friend Charlie Horse, on the legality of their reporting while attending Hillary Clinton rallies. Queenie has invented a new name for Hillary’s rallies, combining two words that accurately describe the gatherings – “Liarallies.” A powerful combination word that describes her promises if elected, i.e. a continuation of Obama’s efforts at “Transformation,” that will fail miserably and drive the country into a deeper recession, punish businesses, raise personal taxes, exacerbate racial tensions, flood the country with Islamic refugees and promote the mandatory wearing of burkinis by Muslim women swimmers like the French have in Europe.

Hillary will also be taking a page from Germany’s Angela Merkel’s play book to encourage Muslim refugee immigration. Merkel will be wearing a burkini to the next meeting of the Bundestag singing “Deutschland uber alles” in Arabic. Hillary will wear a burkini to the candidate debates to demonstrate America’s need to increase immigration of Syrian refugees as equal in importance to global warming that will melt ice bergs and flood our beaches.

Where swimming is possible, burkinis will be mandatory as a way to foster cultural understanding of diversity and why Sharia Law is so protective of individual liberty. Also prohibited will be naked swimming by women and interns so Bill can concentrate his efforts on campaigning for Hillary. The mandate will fend off horny sharks and the possibility of a former democrat congressman masquerading as a hot dog at a cook-out on the beach.

The “Delusionary Divas” will meet in Berchtesgaden and exchange gifts to their Foundations to promote immigration. Hillary to Merkel: “I’ll give you all my terrorists so we can close Guantanimo and you can help them return to their backgrounds as Islamic jihadists and Obama’s legacy will be assured.” Merkel to Hillary: “Oh no, you take a couple of hundred thousand of mine along with some Limburger cheese that smells as bad as your continued ‘Transformation ‘ adopted from Obama.”

We will have more information from Arbuckle on the “Liarallies” soon but wanted to put an end to the French burkini idiocy because of the danger experts say it will create. A sick, i.e., “politically correct” French Banking Minister has predicted that if Hillary is elected with her bankrupting economic agenda, women won’t be able to afford burkinis or any bikini pants or bras. The U.S. will experience a monumental public exposure to wide spread economic and human busts.