Mullet Over
BY JAMES K. WHITE | JANUARY 12, 2011
More glorification than accuracy
Have you ever read an autobiography? It is believed that one William Taylor coined the word “autobiography” in 1797. Mr. Taylor used the term deprecatingly, indicating that self-accounts led to more glorification than accuracy.
An unusual phenomenon has developed in post-war Cambodia. The “norry” has become one of the most common modes of transportation. Norries are homemade contraptions consisting of old car parts and rebuilt lawnmower engines, all topped by a platform of bamboo. The strange vehicles fit atop railroad tracks. Numerous rules of norry etiquette have evolved for seating and vehicular rights-of-way.
Another Cambodia verity concerns the remarkable Tonle Sap River. For about half a year, the river flows northward and then reverses to flow southward for six months. The situation is affected by the rainy-season floods. The large Tonle Sap Lake is alternately filled and drained by the Tonle Sap River.
With the wind, I can throw a football about 15 yards (sometimes). Quarterbacks Joe Namath and Matthew Reed have been credited with tossing footballs more than 90 yards in the air during actual games.
Some scientists have great hope for our uses of geothermal energy. After coal and petroleum reserves have been exhausted, the energy beneath our feet will still be available.
In places like Larderello (Italy), Cornwall (England) and Los Alamos (New Mexico), the local populations are engaged in efforts to tap the underground heat in generating electricity. Larderello has thusly produced energy for local needs since 1904.
Fossil records indicate that the ancestors of the millipede exceeded six feet in length. Those arthropods might cause a few people to shriek, if the lengthy versions were still around in today’s world.
Water that is perfectly still can remain in its liquid form at temperatures several degrees below 32 Fahrenheit. However, a small disturbance can cause the cold compound to freeze almost instantly.
An instructor at Michigan State University has calculated that approximately 3500 gallons of water are required to produce one pound of domestic beef.
Not intending to alarm, but I have read that there seems to be a strain of bacterial tuberculosis for which the medical world has no effective antibiotic. Even the severely toxic antibiotics, which often do more harm than good for patients, have not been successful in combating the “super TB.” Well, be blatantly honest when the world demands that you write your autobiography – and have a pleasant week.
James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at [email protected].
An Obituary printed in the London Times - interesting and sadly, rather true
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
In an effort to identify the author, a Google search produced over 32,000 results, the first posting by David on August 1, 2008 at eforum.reviewjournal.com/lv/showthread.php?t=25835.
Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
Meetings with professionals may produce positive results. Staying on top of things to do will feed your optimism. Spend time with friends and on professional networking.
TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
You will benefit most if you let people know your aims and ideas. Your spirits will be lifted by will be lively influences at work. Keep your promise to stay on your diet.
GEMINI (MAY 21 –JUNE 20)
Work to improve your health and finding enjoyable, inexpensive ways to enjoy time. Being outdoors is good, even if it is just walking. Make plans for Friday evening.
CANCER (JUN 21 – JULY 22)
This week may test you. Due diligence will ensure your success at work. Helping others seems to help you. Solving your life problems is easy if you let the answers come on their own.
LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
You crave excitement, although you can get by without. The romance you’ve been neglecting due to business and everything else is about to become most important!
VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
All will end well amidst the highs and lows this week. Evenings spent in good conversation at social gatherings will improve your mood and those around you.
LIBRA (SEPT.23 – OCT 22)
Working around the house is in order to improve both cleanliness and organization. Friday your energy is strong. Evenings are pleasant. All relationships are in sync.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
A flirtation may cause a welcome distraction this week. You may be involved with a money transaction or unexpected financial consequences. Luck comes your way by the weekend.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22- DEC. 21)
Prepare for an unexpected visitor. A real possibility for financial gain or something that will eventually make a lot of money is ahead. Take serious care of young or old family members.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22- JAN 19)
You seem ready for something new. Surprises may be in store. You may want something new in your life since you like changes. Embrace what comes your way.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20- FEB. 18)
You are due for self-indulgent fun! Give credence to your idea to help bring in extra revenue. Give it a shot! Spend time with optimistic friends and avoid negativity.
PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
Step back and take time to rethink misunderstandings with a friend. Try not to take anyone for granted. A friend may have a lucky day and want to share it with you.
