Mullet Over
BY JAMES K. WHITE | DECEMBER 29, 2010
Enjoy a museum
For those craving excitement: There is a roller coaster in Sandusky, Ohio that features a 420 foot drop and speeds exceeding 115 mph. I do not believe there is enough money in Texas to compel me to ride the park attraction known as Top Thrill Dragster.
Should you be listing the taxable assets of Colorado, you might want to know that a recent survey indicates there are more than 100 breweries in the Centennial State.
Remember the Periodic Chart from chemistry class? The chart has been recently modified because of new data gathered by the scientific community. Ten elements (including hydrogen, oxygen and carbon) will be listed with updated atomic weights.
Thomas Jefferson is recognized as possessing one of the greatest minds of his millennium. However, he refused to believe that meteorites fell from the sky. When two professors from Connecticut reported they had witnessed meteors falling and had found the resulting meteorites, Jefferson accused them of lying.
The next time you go to a museum, you might remind yourself that in years past, the general public was not permitted to see most museum collections. In fact, those wishing to visit the famous British Museum once had to make written applications and face interviews in order to obtain approvals for admission.
For reasons scientists do not fully understand, the corona around our sun is much hotter than its surface.
Do you recall those “delightful” plastic horn noise-makers from the 2010 soccer World Cup? The devices are called vuvuzelas and the tone emitted has been identified as B-flat. I had previously been advised that the sound was “irritating,” “repulsive” or “exasperating.”
The world’s largest pearl is one named “Pearl of Lao Tzu.” This gem (also called “Pearl of Allah”) was extracted from a giant clam taken from the waters of Palawan in 1934. A local chief gave the pearl as a gift of gratitude to an American (Wilburn Cobb). The Pearl of Lao Tzu weighs in excess of 14 pounds, is 9.45 inches in diameter and is valued at approximately $60 million.
In what is a sort-of-related story, scientists contend they have discovered a huge diamond – the entire center of a star. The pure diamond portion of the core is thought to be some 2,500 miles thick. The diamond star is in the constellation Centaurus, about 50 light years from earth. Well, enjoy a museum and have a great week.
James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at [email protected].
Puns for Mensa members
(some old, some new)
1. King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the KING!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are."
2. Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire...and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.
3. A man rushed into a busy doctor's office and shouted, “Doctor! I think I'm shrinking!” The doctor calmly responded, "Now, settle down. You'll just have to be a little patient."
4. A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day, his supply of the birds ran out so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with-- transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.
5. Back in the 1800's the Tate's Watch Company of Massachusetts wanted to produce other products, and since they already made the cases for watches, they used them to produce compasses. The new compasses were so bad that people often ended up in Canada or Mexico rather than California. This, of course, is the origin of the expression -- "He who has a Tate's is lost!"
6. A thief broke into the local police station and stole all the toilets and urinals, leaving no clues. A spokesperson was quoted as saying, "We have absolutely nothing to go on."
7. An Indian chief was feeling very sick, so he summoned the medicine man. After a brief examination, the medicine man took out a long, thin strip of elk rawhide and gave it to the chief, telling him to bite off, chew, and swallow one inch of the leather every day.
After a month, the medicine man returned to see how the chief was feeling. The chief shrugged and said, "The thong is ended, but the malady lingers on."
8. A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census."
9. There were three Indian squaws. One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin. All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys. This just goes to prove that... the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides. (Some of you may need help with this one).
10. A skeptical anthropologist was cataloging South American folk remedies with the assistance of a tribal Brujo who indicated that the leaves of a particular fern were a sure cure for any case of constipation. When the anthropologist expressed his doubts, the Brujo looked him in the eye and said, "Let me tell you, with fronds like these, you don't need enemas."
11. And then there was the APB for the escaped psychic dwarf: Small medium at large.
Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
Post holiday slump gives way to a strong dose of reality. Stay busy. The Serenity Prayer offers wisdom for all of us – there are things you can’t change.
TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
Stay in touch with family; they may need your assistance in the near future. Optimism is very important in your life, so choose to hang around those people who exude optimism.
GEMINI (MAY 21 –JUNE 20)
Think about how to make more money. Try to pay down some of your outstanding bills. Contact a relative you respect to see if there is help available for you.
CANCER (JUN 21 – JULY 22)
Communication is key – verbal and non-verbal – so be aware of your cody language. Use all of your patience to begin reorganizing – things either around the house or at the workplace.
LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
Although you want change in your life you seem seriously bothered because you don’t know what the change will be. Spend quality time with people you trust.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
Surprising news may soon come to you so be prepared. Remaining as positive as possible and hanging out with a few choice friends will make you feel comfortable.
LIBRA (SEPT.23 – OCT 22)
It is truly a time to be thankful for what you have in life. Stay home to re-charge your batteries. Then go do something nice with a loved one, something you both will enjoy.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
Financial setbacks from a rough few months could cause some partner stresses. You’ve been thinking and it’s time to sell some things to make money.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22- DEC. 21)
Keep your ears to the ground for news coming your way. Don’t make assumptions about your health and safety. Ensure things will all work out rather than rely on blind faith.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22- JAN 19)
Take your time and be patient this week as you encounter obstacles that threaten to slow you down. Things will work out regarding stress with a co-worker.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20- FEB. 18)
The past exerts a very strong pull on the way you think. Focus your energy on inspiration and living in the present. Be strong to be happy in the future.
PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
Friends/close relatives are inspired to experience much communication through you. Do something out of your comfort zone so everyday activities can become stimulating.
