Spoof Space
BY STEELE CODDINGTON | NOVEMBER 24, 2010
The better part of daydreaming
Good Morning! Hope you are having a really super day, but preferably, a super moment. Or to put it in today’s somewhat inadequate vernacular, hope everything is cool with you bro, and that you are concentrating on whatever it is you are doing at this very moment. Because if you aren’t, you may be daydreaming, which according to various studies derived from somewhat questionable sources is what most people are doing almost half the time. Daydreaming, instead of concentrating on your work, or the immediate moment may be detrimental in terms of your happiness and could cause depression.
Authors, counselors, therapists and do-gooders responsible for the conclusions concerning daydreaming want you to know that daydreaming is not therapeutic or as restful as you might imagine. Rather, it takes your concentration off of the present moment and wandering minds usually lead to unhappiness. To overcome this we need to concentrate on the present moment. By focusing on the present, the moment, we are more likely to find happiness.
Amazingly, wandering minds are present in most of our daily lives and especially at work. The only activity not affected by a wandering mind according to the authors, is sexual activity. Which is understandable considering the concentration required for that particular activity – without getting into embarrassing details as to why. But if your mind is wandering, you need to check the time of day, the place and your particular partner.
The reason all this is disturbing is because if sexual activity is used to lessen daydreaming, it could really have a detrimental effect on a company’s productivity. And it brings up all kinds of corporate or business problems. The major one is that government employee unions will try to negotiate collective bargaining for mandatory sex breaks to improve the health and especially the happiness of its members. It is argued very convincingly by many unions that sex breaks, which they now label as an employee benefit called daydream therapy (ddt) is good for a company’s bottom line.
The deeper questions yet to be answered are who administers the ddt? Which employees are eligible? Where will it be conducted? Is there a compensatory salary adjustment if you don’t elect to sign up for ddt? Will there be separate rooms for the therapy or can it just be expressed right on the production line, for example, at large companies like General Motors?
Some think ddt is a figment of a deranged mind. But if it makes a person happy, it is an equivalent to medical marijuana. Everyone that I saw interviewed on TV regarding marijuana said, “If it makes a person happier, why not let them do it?” The same will be said of ddt. But there are legal problems. If a supervisor asks an employee if they’d like a sex break, is it sexual harassment, or just a caring supervisor?
We gotta be careful though. Next thing you know, unions will want a family leave benefit or free beer and TV with their ddt.
The $2.99 Special
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'
'Then, I'll have to charge you three dollars and forty-nine cents because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.
'YES!!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied. She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
You’re due to have money surprises come your way. Art or other creative avenues motivate you and complements your normal practical approach to things.
TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
Think about new beginnings or life paths that move in new directions. Shift from self thought to thoughts of others. Express gratitude for what you have. Outside activities and exercise are overdue.
GEMINI (MAY 21 –JUNE 20)
It will be a special holiday; your evening goes especially well. Enjoy the time spent in conversations and move to a place of light heartedness. New thoughts will keep until tomorrow.
CANCER (JUN 21 – JULY 22)
Make a new dessert for the holidays and enjoy having the family all together. It will be fun! You may be headed in a previously unimaginable, new life direction.
LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
In order to accomplish all of the things on your holiday list, refrain from all conflict. Your ability to organize is critical. Try to take life as it comes and not stress.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
Your honesty is highly valued, but be careful of your words and the tone of your voice. Honest does not mean blunt. Enjoy your home, your partner and make the most of what time you have off.
LIBRA (SEPT.23 – OCT 22)
A minor emotional issue may arise, but it will not cause a serious problem. It portends of changes ahead. Move your home from the back burner to the front burner through the holidays.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
The new people coming into your life because they have been attracted to you will prove to be of great interest. Don’t stress if you don’t get your way. Just let it go by.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22- DEC. 21)
Your strong family ties make for a high level of excitement during the holidays. If you’re single you may meet someone with whom romantic sparks will fly.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22- JAN 19)
Making early decisions based on advice of friends should be thought through carefully. If you seek a more creative future, you must move on opportunities even if they seem outside your comfort zone.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20- FEB. 18)
Being your normal charming self may move you much farther along than you might have thought possible. Admit you’re wrong if it is so – doors open to those of high integrity.
PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
Make your presence known if you feel it is the right move. Don’t get too crazy over the holiday. Co-workers may become easily aggravated due to stress. Remain confident.
