OCTOBER 27, 2010

RSVP Halloween

Let’s face it, trick-or-treating is just a mess. I have kids showing up at my door at any given time, wearing whatever, demanding candy creating all kinds of havoc in my normally sedate evening routine.

pumpkin basket Don’t get me wrong. I’m not anti-trick-or-treating. I’m just saying it seems it could be a little more organized. I never know how much candy to buy or when trick-or-treating officially begins.

Therefore, I propose a few new rules to eliminate Halloween stress and bring order to an otherwise chaotic experience.

1] Trick-or-treating will be done on an RSVP basis only. Trick-or-treaters will be required to give written notice seven days in advance of the holiday. Tweeting and texting are not acceptable forms of written communication. E-mail is allowed but proper letter etiquette should be observed.

2] In the aforementioned written notice, trick-or-treaters shall apply for inclusion in the trick-or-treating custom by submitting a one-page, single-spaced essay on the importance of trick-or-treating safety.

3] Trick-or-treating shall be conducted from 6 to 7:30 p.m. All participants shall schedule appointments and be assigned specific times to trick-or-treat. Time slots shall be awarded randomly and no age consideration will be given. Bids for preferred time slots will be entertained.

4] Applicants will be notified in advance of the type of candy that is to be distributed. Candy will be designated by three categories:

A. Premium - Name-brand chocolate candy such as M&Ms, Snickers, and Almond Joy
B. Preferred - Name-brand non-chocolate candy such at Sweet-tarts, Nerds, and Skittles
C. Nasty - Non-brand peanut butter taffy pieces wrapped in black and orange wax paper

If applicant does not prefer the type of candy chosen for them, then they need not participate.

5] The amount of candy distributed to participants shall be in direct inverse order of participant’s age.

1-3 years old - 3 pieces of premium candy
4-5 years old - two pieces of premium candy and 1 piece of preferred candy
6-8 years old - 2 pieces of preferred candy
9-11 years old - 2 pieces of nasty candy
11 + years old - 0 pieces of candy (They should either be doing homework or at their part-time job.)

6] No duplicate costumes. I find it redundant and superfluous to have three Darth Vaders, five princess fairies, and nine Buzz Lightyears show up at my door on the same night. Therefore, all costumes shall be assigned on a first-come, first-served basis. Costumes shall be checked and monitored. Violators may expect a stern reprimand and no candy.

7] Any teenager showing up at my door wearing street clothes and a lame mask in an attempt to get free candy shall be pelted with nasty peanut butter taffy candy and ridiculed as they flee the premises. Those who consider retaliation in the form of vandalism to my property should be made aware of my close ties with the law enforcement community and may expect a lengthy stay in a Juvenile Detention Facility (although I will push hard to see they are tried as adults like the little criminals they are).

Too harsh, you say? You think I’m making a mountain out of a molehill? Well, I have it on good authority that undisciplined treat-or-treating is exactly how the communist party started. Let a few kids walk around demanding free candy and the next thing you know, you’ll have a bunch of people marching in lockstep in Red Square.

I’m just saying.

I know, adding rules always gets folks rattled. Of course, the reverse is true, too. Imagine a guy coming into a religious system, simplifying it, and removing the middlemen, like Jesus did. Do you think that might upset anyone? We always tend to think of Jesus as the ultimate nice guy, but very often he upsets the order of things.

And he still does. I’ve found that if you desire to follow Jesus, you’re going to have to get used to some people not liking it when you go against status quo. It’s part of the price of following Jesus.

But I’ve got to wrap this up for now, though, and get started circulating my new Halloween rules in the neighborhood. Man, nothing says “festivity and celebration” like a new set of rules, huh?

By Pendred Noyce

Six ways video games affect the brain

The average American 11-14 year old spends ten hours a week playing video games. Boys play about twice as much as girls. What does all this screen time do to our children, especially our sons?

1. Sharpening perception. People who play video games improve the ability to notice events and objects at the edge of the screen, not just the center. They also develop their ability to distinguish subtle differences in shading.
2. Seeing 3-D objects in 2-D. Video gamers are more adept than non-gamers at mentally manipulating 2-D representations of 3-D objects. That is, they can figure out what they’ll see when they turn a corner, or how a building or village might look from the top. But do these skills develop as a result of playing games, or do people with good 3D visualization skills play more because they have a competitive advantage? We don’t know.
3. Boosting intelligence. Most intriguing of all, there’s some evidence video or computer-based memory training can increase intelligence. Games that require the player to hold several images or bits of information in mind at once may build the holding power of short-term memory. This matters because it makes thinking easier. The better your short-term memory – the less effort you have to spend to hold thoughts in mind – the more fluid and efficient your reasoning will be.
4. Sagging grades. This point might seem to contradict the one above, but most games aren’t set up to make kids think hard. They’re pure entertainment, and we know that long hours spent gaming are associated with lower school performance. Time spent crouched in front of the screen is time not spent doing homework, reading, or talking with adults.
5. Getting weighed down. Heavy gamers tend to be heavy children. Are overweight, unathletic kids drawn to the excitement of video games, where they can be heroic daredevils without budging more than their thumbs? Or does sedentary entertainment lure active kids into a couch potato lifestyle where they stop burning off the calories? Sitting in front of the screen, snacking and waving a controller, is no way to keep fit.
Game creators have responded to this concern by developing movement-associated games, such as Nintendo Wii. Can swinging an imaginary tennis racket truly substitute for playing on a real team, learning to ski cross country, climbing a tree, or going on a nature hike?
6. Turning into Mr. Hyde. Of greatest concern to researchers and parents alike is the fear that violent games may lead to violent behavior. This fear is well founded. Playing video games in which one character willfully hurts another can lead in a period of weeks to more acts of aggression among young players. Players are more likely to start hitting, kicking, and biting.
Brain scans show that while reacting to a violent game scenario on screen, both decision-making and emotional centers in the brain light up. But among frequent gamers, the brightness in the emotional centers quickly fades. Apparently, frequent gamers develop the ability to suppress an emotional reaction to violence. They’re desensitized.
In the midst of this accumulating evidence, what’s a parent to do? First, parents should strictly limit violent games, especially among younger (pre-teen) children. Any evidence of increased aggressive behavior should make a parent shut off the games entirely, not as punishment but as treatment for a negative effect on their children’s brains. Beyond minimizing violence, the most important considerations are variety and dose. Kids who play video games should include movement-based games that keep them physically active, along with interactive games that ask them to cooperate with others and think hard. Parents and kids can join together in games that require movement and mental effort.
Most of all, parents should not let video games crowd out other activities, such as reading, sports and outdoor play, doodling, jamming in the basement with friends, or daydreaming. While video games carry some potential benefits, all of us benefit from more time with nature, books, friends, and the company of our own imagination.

Pendred Noyce is the author of “Lost in Lexicon: An Adventure in Words and Numbers.” You can find out more at www.lostinlexicon.com.