Don Senneville and Jim White
Could the elimination of all espresso machines on Coffee Row stop global warming? Such deep questions are typical of coffeehouse philosophers. Does the coffeehouse experience foster dialogue? Yes, coffee comrades have threatened despots and Kings by breaking ranks with the tea drinkers. Here are a few historical examples of this phenomenon.
- Charles II sent spies to coffeehouses, which he thought were the original source of ‘false news’.
- The London Stock Exchange started in Jonathon’s Coffee House (bean counters!).
- Ottoman Sultan Murad IV decreed death to coffee drinkers and used his 100lb. sword on them.
- Frederick the Great outlawed coffee in Germany because his pals owned breweries.
- The Boston Tea party was planned in the Green Tavern Coffee Shop.
- “Penny Universities” began in coffee shops instead of Oxford (new ideas for pennies, over coffee).
- The decreasing number of formal tea rooms led to the evolution of coffeehouses as the internet of the day.
- Sir Issac Newton once dissected a dolphin on the table of a coffee house. (Biology 101?)
So we planned, reserved, and prepared for our entry into the English Rose Tea Room of Carefree. We were expecting something between Julie Andrews and Boris Johnson. Instead we were greeted by a real American-accented young person who graciously escorted us throughout the intense pink ‘Barbie glow’ of the collection of iconic English nicknacks and impressive portraits of King Charles and Queen Elizabeth featured on formal wallpaper among cute little tables.
We felt right at home. We wondered what they had on draft, and Don asked for Chardonnay. Of course we were denied, but having grown up on Benny Hill TV, we knew the joke would work. (It didn’t.) Dr. Who? Red phone booth. Mr. Bean, Henry Vlll, Twiggy, Lady Di, the Beatles.…(Don wondered if Led Zeppelin drank tea.) Anyway, the Tea Room didn’t look like a good after-party spot for the kids’ soccer team (no video, no pizza, no to-go cups). But then, it’s a great place for tea. Stairway to Heaven. The Kinks sing “Afternoon Tea”. Wow!
We were a bit worried at first about the British Flags and proud national spirit of this little tea room, especially after researching the history behind the past conflicts over coffee v tea.
Everyone knows the Boston Tea Party story. There was no party, but with the rejection of tea as a symbol of authoritarian rule (think Mad King George), coffee became the fuel of democratic thinking, and therefore coffee klatches fit with the American Revolutionary spirit of freedom. Paul Revere was really announcing the coffee shops that were opening that morning. In Revolutionary times, coffee shops provided a diverse alternative to the formal Tea Ceremony, which glorified the Crown. Not much about revolution on the tea side.
Don thought maybe The Tea Room was recruiting kids to the non-revolutionary side – there is a PB & J sandwich with sweet tea on the menu – goes down better than a scone! But it’s likely not a problem. British Tea at 4 pm…American “Tea” at 420 pm… Coffee anytime. Who are we glorifying? God save the King and the rest of us. The formal English High Tea ceremony traditionally starts at 4:00.
So we diplomatically entered at exactly 4:10 pm. The English RoseTea Room was closed. Odd…
We left to go find a coffee.
Next week, we may venture out beyond our Coffee Rodeo Drive. Please contact Don/Jim at The Cup. [email protected].
