I wasn’t originally going to get a brain transplant, but then I changed my mind.
I’d tell you a chemistry joke but I know I wouldn’t get a reaction.
I can’t believe I got fired from the calendar factory. All I did was take a day off.
Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team? She ran away from the ball.
How did I escape Iraq? Iran.
I’m glad I know sign language, it’s pretty handy.
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down.
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
My first job was working in an orange juice factory, but I got canned: couldn’t concentrate.
I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na.
I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
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