Laughs for everyone

God Bless America

Marriage  Humor 

Wife: ‘What  are you doing?’ 

Husband: Nothing. 

Wife: ‘Nothing ?  You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’ 

Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiration date.’ 

Wife:  ‘Do you want dinner?’ 

Husband: ‘Sure! What are my  choices?’ 

Wife: ‘Yes  or no.’ 

Stress  Reliever  

Girl: ‘When  we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten  your burden.’ 

Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you,  darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’ 

Girl: ‘Well that’s because we aren’t  married yet.’ 

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Son: ‘Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’ 

Mum: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’ 

Son: ‘But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’ 

___

A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’ 

‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A  FORTUNE!’ 

A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’ 

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humour!’