Spoof Space


A Volt in the White House

steele coddingtonThe latest and greatest metaphor for Barrack Obama is General Motors’ Volt automobile. He personifies it like Jimmy Carter does a peanut, but with conspicuous differences that have scary consequences. Peanuts make great food, but no one wants one for a leader. Volts are an unknown quantity. Unlike peanuts, there is no hunger for them. Who thirsts for an interesting piece of machinery dependant on 288 lithium-ion battery cells that power an electric motor? Especially one that like Obama can best be described by Winston Churchill’s famous description of Russia in a 1939 radio broadcast: “It is a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma.” Are we stuck with a modern day Edsel?

A “riddle” because everyone knows the car is not a practical substitute for today’s world when regular fossil fuel automobiles are available, cheap and dependable. A “mystery” because no one can figure out who really wants a Volt. The demand curve goes south faster than Obama’s specious pandering to the United Auto Workers, saying that he will buy one the day he leaves office. The odds in Las Vegas are the size of Obama’s deficit, 15 trillion to one, that you won’t find a Volt in front of the White House the day he leaves office, nor a registration or birth certificate in the glove compartment. But most disturbing is the “enigma,” because the Volt is a political animal which probably would not even have been manufactured if it had to be financed through private enterprise without significant political largess from big brother’s unlimited tax payer pockets.

Like Obama, the Volt is all PR, wrapped in environmental promises of change the taxpayers need to move America forward so we can stop depending on foreign oil. Obama and Volts – great expectations, great fanfare, just charge him/it up and it will lead us, inspired by the magic of the new reelection buzz word, “FORWARD.” Forward is a mirage unless there are successful free market innovations to impel growth and create demand. Greasing the skids with “crony capitalism” gimmicks to overcome the Volt’s outrageous retail price of $50 grand with direct government subsidies of $7,500 tax credits per buyer is as bad as social engineering.

Daniel Foster who test-drove the Volt, suggested in a recent article in National Review that broad estimates of “indirect” government subsidies could amount to as much as $250,000 per vehicle. But even if such estimates are a little hazy because they can’t be documented the real disturbing conclusion is the cost in terms of Obama’s invasion of private industry.

As Foster points out, “Remember that it (the Volt) is also a talking point, a floundering mascot of a political world-view according to which markets can be bribed and cajoled into premature and uneconomic decisions – innovation can be centrally planned and future runs on the good intentions of the present policy making class,” (Obama’s administration). He goes on to point out that in March GM suspended production with lay-offs of 1300 workers to align production with demand.

The most caustic comments for both Obama and the Volt should come from people who can’t find a job, Chevy dealers edged out of business and GM shareholders ... “Next time we really need a Volt, let’s stick a finger into an electric outlet and get a thrill with hope and change.”

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ObamaCare Update

A doctor's view on the whole matter ...

The American Medical Association has weighed in on Obama's new health care package.

The Allergists were in favor of scratching it, but the Dermatologists advised not to make any rash moves.

The Gastroenterologists had sort of a gut feeling about it, but the Neurologists thought the Administration had a lot of nerve.

Meanwhile, Obstetricians felt certain everyone was laboring under a misconception, while the Ophthalmologists considered the idea shortsighted.

Pathologists yelled, "Over my dead body!" while the Pediatricians said, "Oh, grow up!"

The Psychiatrists thought the whole idea was madness, while the Radiologists could see right through it.

Surgeons decided to wash their hands of the whole thing and the Internists claimed it would indeed be a bitter pill to swallow.

The Plastic Surgeons opined that this proposal would "put a whole new face on the matter."

The Podiatrists thought it was a step forward, but Anesthesiologists thought the whole idea was a gas.

In the end, the Proctologists won out, leaving the entire decision up to you-know-who in Washington.

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