Spoof Space


Greatest Generation, be prepared!

Steele coddingtonWe’ve heard it many times, “Life’s a bitch, and then you die.” I don’t believe it and neither should you. It’s a secret code phrase promoted by the Obama administration’s “Destroy America” goons to help brainwash the indigent, illegal aliens, minorities, Occupy Wall Streeters, the envious, easily influenced, victims, trial lawyers and especially to scam us poor ole seniors. As one of the last group, someone with the common sense of a Border Collie, like me, has to enlighten my bretheran and sisteran concerning the plans of the entertainer in the White House.

First – because we still have a sense of humor, it doesn’t mean we are entertained by phony political magicians. Our humor runs toward making fun of ourselves because we understand ourselves – and appreciate that e-mails giving us advice on senior love-making is much more realistic than any Obama budget. For example: “Wear your glasses to be sure the person in bed with you is who you think it is.”

Second – to bring you back to reality, read the shocking new book Screwed by Dick Morris and Eileen McGann. Learn how your country is being manipulated. It will open your eyes to governments eager to con you out of your money.

Third - to liberals of the world, “Stop messing with our historical and religious beliefs.” Most of us grew up with a strong work ethic, and a conviction that most of what we earn should be ours to keep to support our families. Of course, we believe in paying our fair share of taxes. But what’s “fair” for our obscenely profligate government, anxious to buy its way into reelection, is not fair for everyone. If seniors are not vigilant, they can be scammed by false arguments that manipulate their feelings about the validity of their own long-term convictions about “working for a living.” The belief that you should keep more of the income that your own efforts were able to produce, is not a moral wrong. Especially when you probably spend significantly more percentage-wise on religious and charitable needs than the government siphons off to slip to politicians who vote for higher taxes.

The liberal agenda and Obama-created hatred of individuals who have accumulated money, or are successful, is set to zero-in on evil seniors who earn money from investments producing capital gains and dividends. These ear-marks of successful capitalism, as sources of income and helping vast numbers of seniors stay afloat, are on Obama’s hit list. The year ending 2012 will put your investments under Obama in serious jeopardy. Under current law the top dividend income tax rate will go from 15 percent to 43.4 percent. Because the Bush tax reductions expire on Dec. 31, the 15 percent tax rate on your dividends will revert to the prior rate of 39.6 percent. Add to that the mandatory Obamacare 3.8 percent surtax on all forms of investment income. The drop in stock return will automatically cause stock prices to fall low enough to justify whatever that dividend rate is, lowering your portfolio’s net worth by some estimates, as much as 30 percent. And if that’s not enough, the capital gains tax will follow the dividend tax rate upward from 15 percent to 23.8 percent. The prognosis?
Alter America so Obama’s dream comes true. “Let’s help everyone become poorer so everyone in government can become richer.” If that’s not enough to make you feel old, wait ‘til the IRS man compliments you on your new alligator shoes – and you’re barefoot (you can’t afford sneakers any more anyhow).

GBA banner
Bookmark and Share

?Car keys

?Several days ago as I left a meeting at a hotel I desperately gave myself a personal TSA pat down. I was looking for my keys. They were not in my pockets.
A quick search in the meeting room revealed nothing.
Suddenly I realized I must have left them in the car. Frantically, I headed for the parking lot.
My wife has scolded me many times for leaving the keys in the ignition. My theory is the ignition is the best place not to lose them. Her theory is that the car will be stolen.
As I burst through the door, I came to a terrifying conclusion. Her theory was right. The parking lot was empty.
I immediately called the police. I gave them my location, confessed I had left my keys in the car, and it had been stolen.
Then I made the most difficult call of all, "Honey," I stammered; I always call her "honey" in times like these. "I left my keys in the car, and it has been stolen."
There was a period of silence. I thought the call had been dropped, but then I heard her voice.
"Idiot," she barked, "I dropped you off!"
Now it was my time to be silent. Embarrassed, I said, "Well, come and get me."
She retorted, "I will, as soon as I convince this policeman I have not stolen your car." Yep it's the golden years.

Puzzle Solutions