Spoof Space


Odors that won’t surprise you ...

There is a suspicious sniffing and deep inhaling of the odor emanating from the second serving of a failure oriented, Chicago corrupted type plan to create jobs and stimulate the U.S. economy, laughingly referred to as the Obama American Jobs Act. Desperately in need of something beyond a reelection campaign scam, the country is once again exposed to radical Saul Alinsky class warfare with no other purpose than to provide cover and distraction from Obama’s monumental failures in every aspect of governance.

In a striking coincidence, the initials of the Act’s author – Bloviated Omnipotence – BO for short – also describes the odor of the same old liberal bankrupting programs that couldn’t be passed even when Democrats controlled Washington under Obama. It simply smells bad. It has political BO written all over it.

Unfortunately, unlike honest advertising that offers solutions to socially distasteful human BO, the words and actions to support the American Jobs Act are just more of the same old political BOs, thoughtfully described here for your enlightenment:
Bad Omens (higher deficits), Blatant Obfuscations (“everything in this Bill will be paid for”), Blind Obsessions (soak the rich), Badly Oversold (no real estimates of job creation), Borderline Orchestrations (that higher taxes will fix the problems), Brainwashing Opportunism (“believe me on this, I’m your president”), Bolshevik Orientation (“change” the country – spread the wealth), and more Bullying Outrages (he will veto anything that makes good sense). All reelection campaign blather soaked in the same phony rhetoric of useless “hope and change.”

Since the President plays golf, White House advisors should explain the impact of the Jobs Act to him in golf terms. It’s called a MULLIGAN. We’ve seen it before and it didn’t work. Golf is an ethical sport with rules that call for players to invoke penalties on themselves for violations. For example, when the ball is driven off the tee, you must play it from where it landed – “where it lies.” If it’s out of bounds or moved from where it lies, you suffer penalty strokes. A MULLIGAN is an attempt to arbitrarily hit a second drive ignoring the fact that the first drive was a failure. The Jobs Act is a political MULLIGAN, involving the same old ideas that have failed to provide jobs or stimulate the economy.

To extend the golf analogy even further, golfers know that when you are in a bunker (a sand trap) you should not continue to dig yourself in deeper every time you try to get out. When you continuously hit bad shots, it’s a good idea to improve yourself and your results by doing something different that works. Take a lesson. Use a different club. Apply golf intelligence to the economy using successful, simple workable solutions like lowering taxes, rewriting the tax code to raise more revenue, repeal Obamacare and stop spending.

The U.S. economy is not golf, but one of the first lessons of the game is that if you are struggling under the weight of your bag, you need to remove something before it drags you down. The U.S. bag is too full of spending; we are about to go down under its weight. Maybe the only solution is one more BO – Bye Obama!

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Holy Humor

People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.
The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.

Her daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.

He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

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