Spoof Space

BY STEELE CODDINGTON  | SEPTEMBER 28, 2011

Odors that won’t surprise you ...

There is a suspicious sniffing and deep inhaling of the odor emanating from the second serving of a failure oriented, Chicago corrupted type plan to create jobs and stimulate the U.S. economy, laughingly referred to as the Obama American Jobs Act. Desperately in need of something beyond a reelection campaign scam, the country is once again exposed to radical Saul Alinsky class warfare with no other purpose than to provide cover and distraction from Obama’s monumental failures in every aspect of governance.

In a striking coincidence, the initials of the Act’s author – Bloviated Omnipotence – BO for short – also describes the odor of the same old liberal bankrupting programs that couldn’t be passed even when Democrats controlled Washington under Obama. It simply smells bad. It has political BO written all over it.

Unfortunately, unlike honest advertising that offers solutions to socially distasteful human BO, the words and actions to support the American Jobs Act are just more of the same old political BOs, thoughtfully described here for your enlightenment:
Bad Omens (higher deficits), Blatant Obfuscations (“everything in this Bill will be paid for”), Blind Obsessions (soak the rich), Badly Oversold (no real estimates of job creation), Borderline Orchestrations (that higher taxes will fix the problems), Brainwashing Opportunism (“believe me on this, I’m your president”), Bolshevik Orientation (“change” the country – spread the wealth), and more Bullying Outrages (he will veto anything that makes good sense). All reelection campaign blather soaked in the same phony rhetoric of useless “hope and change.”

Since the President plays golf, White House advisors should explain the impact of the Jobs Act to him in golf terms. It’s called a MULLIGAN. We’ve seen it before and it didn’t work. Golf is an ethical sport with rules that call for players to invoke penalties on themselves for violations. For example, when the ball is driven off the tee, you must play it from where it landed – “where it lies.” If it’s out of bounds or moved from where it lies, you suffer penalty strokes. A MULLIGAN is an attempt to arbitrarily hit a second drive ignoring the fact that the first drive was a failure. The Jobs Act is a political MULLIGAN, involving the same old ideas that have failed to provide jobs or stimulate the economy.

To extend the golf analogy even further, golfers know that when you are in a bunker (a sand trap) you should not continue to dig yourself in deeper every time you try to get out. When you continuously hit bad shots, it’s a good idea to improve yourself and your results by doing something different that works. Take a lesson. Use a different club. Apply golf intelligence to the economy using successful, simple workable solutions like lowering taxes, rewriting the tax code to raise more revenue, repeal Obamacare and stop spending.

The U.S. economy is not golf, but one of the first lessons of the game is that if you are struggling under the weight of your bag, you need to remove something before it drags you down. The U.S. bag is too full of spending; we are about to go down under its weight. Maybe the only solution is one more BO – Bye Obama!

Holy Humor

People want the front of the bus, the back of the church, and the center of attention.

A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before a long holiday weekend.
The attendant worked quickly, but there were many cars ahead of him. Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.

"Reverend," said the young man, "I'm so sorry about the delay. It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."

The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."

Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what the lesson was about.

Her daughter answered, "Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt."

Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed. Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.

He said "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."

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Sept. 28 – Oct. 4, 2011

For All Signs: This is a second week of drama triangles (see Sep 14, ’11 article). The ongoing tension between Uranus (for the people) and Pluto (for the Plutocrats) is punctuated now by transiting Mercury and Sun, which are conjunct and creating the third point in the triangle. The Sun is about ego: Who I Am. Mercury is about What I Think. In a drama triangle there is a victim, a perpetrator, and a rescuer. Sometimes they alternate roles. For example, the rescuer in one scenario may be turned on by both the victim and the perpetrator, and his/her role evolves to that of the victim. We may see this scenario on the world stage or in our living rooms. It is dysfunctional and generally leads to a disappointing outcome in which nobody wins.
Aries: This is a fine week to play. Love and social life are given a “go” signal. Those with clientele will have plenty to do. There is a potential for accidents or breakage of equipment. The Powers that Be in your career life are definitely in charge. Progress can be made only through persuasion and even that may not help right now.
Taurus: In May your engine revved and you started a new project that involves projecting yourself out into the world more fully. You began to explore a greater sense of self-confidence. During this period you may be evaluating whether the initial start was worth the gain. Now is the time to pour more of your personal resources into that project or to let it go.
Gemini: There is an old saying: "Don't believe everything you think." Take this one to heart this week. Your feelings and thoughts may be only projections of what you want to think. You might identify a piece of information as a truth, when indeed, it is merely your opinion. Try to reduce distractions so you will think more clearly.
Cancer: During this week you will enjoy home, hearth, and family. That also includes those whom you think of as an extended family, such as co-workers or maybe a special circle of friends. The arts and all things of beauty are of a special pleasure to you now.
Leo: Activities involving education, short distance travel, writing and lectures are favored now. Neighbors, siblings, or roommates may provide entertainment. Alongside that, there is likely a crisis of decision in front of you concerning your job and/or co-workers. It is an old issue. The most important factor is to center yourself with who you have become rather than who you were.
Virgo: You may drive yourself buggy with multiple worries at this time. Most of what we worry over never comes to pass. Recognize that you may manifest your inner images, both positive and negative, into reality. Your hyper alert periods may be symptoms of obsessing.
Libra: This is a very busy week with multiple influences. Romance and social life flow easily. Meanwhile you have an old issue, returning for review, which concerns family, home, and your sense of belonging. Make an effort to avoid old knee-jerk reactions. Come from the Self that you are now.
Scorpio: It is of paramount importance that you control your mouth this week. Although you have an opinion about whatever is happening, let it go and say nothing unless asked for it. Being "right" is generally not as important as maintaining human relations.
Sagittarius: You are focused mainly upon work and projects throughout this week. Your attention may be called to the Internet, the law, or connecting to people at a distance. Travel is possible, but it is more probable that your connections will be electronic. Missing data or absentee people may be slowing your progress.
Capricorn: This is a good week to concentrate on a challenging mental project. It will work better for you if you are revising, editing, or itemizing details. If you are producing a new creative work, you are likely to be overly critical of the outcome. The Critic may advise, but it should never be allowed to condemn your efforts.
Aquarius: Circumstances involving love life and money may feel a bit tight. You may experience an emotional droop near the first, in which you perceive yourself to be alone in the world. This is a temporary mood, so don't take it seriously. You are fatigued and potentially overworked. Get some rest.
Pisces: Things may be going fine in your outer world, but your inner world needs attention. An old bogey man, the fear of abandonment, could be rattling around in your mind. There are others who want to share their resources with you and the Fish is actually shy. Pisces may prefer to stay out of the limelight and swim to the bottom.

Are you interested in a personal horoscope? Vivian Carol may be reached at 704-366-3777 for private psychotherapy or astrology appointments (there is a charge). Blog: www.horoscopesbyvivian.com.