Mullet Over

BY JAMES K. WHITE  | AUGUST 10, 2011


JAMS K WHITEAre you proficient on a bicycle?

According to the Bible, Methuselah lived 969 years. "Methy" was a grandfather of Noah and passed away just days prior to the beginning of the Great Flood.

Most scientists (perhaps over a dozen) who study jackals claim that there are three distinct species of the elusive animal. However, DNA testing has led some to suggest that the American Coyote might be considered to be a fourth species. There is possibly a fifth species thriving in Washington, D.C. (my opinion).

Viruses can live outside a host longer than we once thought. For instance, research shows that the hepatitis B virus can live (and remain infectious) for at least seven days without the benefits of any host environs.

As this column is rushed to press (2011), the fastest tennis serve ever "officially" measured was one of 156 mph by pro player Ivo Karlovic. I have doubts that I could deliver the "56," forget the 100.

Although it has lost some of its phenomenal popularity, "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" did break all records to become TV's most syndicated game show – broadcast in more than 100 countries.

Feel like enjoying a nice cool sweet treat? If you mosey (real word) on over to New York City and visit Serendipity 3, you can delight yourself with a $25,000 Ice Cream Sundae (tip not included).

Are you proficient on a bicycle? How about pedaling distances over 100 miles in 24 hours? In 2008 an exceptional man from Slovenia (Marko Baloh) cycled 553 miles in one day. Impressive.

France derives 76 percent of its electricity from nuclear energy. The United States gets 20 percent from nuclear power plants. Hey, that is only 96 percent, what happened to the other 4 percent?

Many historical events have occurred at Westminster Abbey. One of the earliest was the crowning of William the First (a.k.a. William the Conqueror) in 1066. On April 29, 2011, there was another William (and a Kate) involved in some sort of ceremony at that very same Abbey.

Toy manufacturers Fisher-Price and Mattel had a thriving rivalry ongoing for decades. That competition has greatly mellowed as Mattel now owns Fisher-Price.

On April 14, 1914 someone placed a bottle into the sea near Scotland. Some 92 years later (Dec. 10, 2006), the bottle was fished out of the water by Mark Anderson of Aberdeen (Scotland). Mostly the message was stuff about locations and was intended to aid in studying drift tendencies.

Well, be cautious when returning a Karlovic serve and do have splendid week.

James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at [email protected].


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Best friends

A man and his dog were walking along a road. The man was enjoying the scenery, when it suddenly occurred to him that he was dead.

He remembered dying, and that the dog walking beside him had been dead for years. He wondered where the road was leading them.

After a while, they came to a high, white stone wall along one side of the road. It looked like fine marble.

At the top of a long hill, it was broken by a tall arch that glowed in the sunlight.

When he was standing before it, he saw a magnificent gate in the arch that looked like mother-of-pearl, and the street that led to the gate looked like pure gold.

He and the dog walked toward the gate, and as he got closer, he saw a man at a desk to one side.

When he was close enough, he called out, 'Excuse me, where are we?' 

'This is Heaven, sir,' the man answered.

'Wow! Would you happen to have some water?' the man asked.

'Of course, sir. Come right in, and I'll have some ice water brought right up.'

The man gestured, and the gate began to open. 'Can my friend,' gesturing toward his dog, 'come in, too?' the traveler asked.

'I'm sorry, sir, but we don't accept pets.'

The man thought a moment and then turned back toward the road and continued the way he had been going with his dog.

After another long walk, and at the top of another long hill, he came to a dirt road leading through a farm gate that looked as if it had never been closed.

There was no fence.

As he approached the gate, he saw a man inside, leaning against a tree and reading a book ...

'Excuse me!' he called to the man. 'Do you have any water?'

'Yeah, sure, there's a pump over there, come on in.'

'How about my friend here?' the traveler gestured to the dog.

'There should be a bowl by the pump,' said the man.

They went through the gate, and sure enough, there was an old-fashioned hand pump with a bowl beside it.

The traveler filled the water bowl and took a long drink himself, then he gave some to the dog.

When they were full, he and the dog walked back toward the man who was standing by the tree.

'What do you call this place?' the traveler asked. 

'This is Heaven,' he answered.

'Well, that's confusing,' the traveler said.

'The man down the road said that was Heaven, too.'

'Oh, you mean the place with the gold street and pearly gates? Nope. That's hell.'

'Doesn't it make you mad for them to use your name like that?'

'No, we're just happy that they screen out the folks who would leave their best friends behind.'

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