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APRIL 6, 2011

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What, we have to do nearly 100 degrees in April? I only remember one year, maybe late 80s, when it was hot early like this. Yuk. It’s too far from here to pool weather. We need an interim solution. Any ideas? You guys (at Sonoran News) seem to be full of them lately, evidenced by your April Fools’ issue. If you weren’t so serious all of the time, we wouldn’t be so easily taken. You switch from humorous to hard-nosed in a nanosecond. I hate to admit, I fell for it again. My husband looked at me like I was from another planet when I complained about the coyotes attacking pets.

With the imminent sale of Rural/Metro, will there be any corruptible firemen available to campaign for David Schwan? I doubt Phoenix or Scottsdale firemen would lower themselves to Miller’s level.

You got me again. I thought I had missed a couple of Cave Creek meetings until a neighbor told me not to go to Town Hall to complain about the merger of the towns of Carefree and Cave Creek because I’d just embarrass myself. Although it is evidently not meant to happen for me, you’d think every once in a while I’d get the joke right away. I love this anonymous line too. I would be too embarrassed more people might know who it was chomping at the bit to put a stop to the merger.

Who will the Carefree clowns pick as Schwan’s vice mayor? Miller has been more than enough of an embarrassment in that role. I bet even Schwan can’t stomach him anymore.
It was when I read the part in the article “The secret’s out” about the water capsule slide honoring Fulcher that I finally realized Sonoran News was all about having April Fools’ Day fun this week. Do you people have nothing better to do than pull pranks on us?

I just read that Fulcher, Meyer, and Gardner were substantial contributors to the PAC that supported Schwan. Judging by the size of their contributions, Meyer likes Schwan twice as much as the others. Folklore advises that it is essential to drive a stake through the heart of vampires to assure their ultimate dispatch.  It must be true.

The snakes are out (both political and cold blooded, or are they one in the same) and the arrival of warmer weather portends another water rate increase in Carefree.

Although a sad story, unlike most published for April Fools’ Day, I thought “Spur Cross phantom” by Luke Wolfe (he must be a reader, a new writer or you guys are getting creative with your by lines) was a serious tribute to our nation’s service men and women. Most people do not know, now do they want to know, of the traumas and tragedies witnessed during their tours of duty. Not funny, but a worthy read. Maybe more truth than fiction. Well done in any case.

Do any Carefree residents notice how alive and vibrant Cave Creek always seems to be, especially on weekends?  The contrast between the two neighbors is an illuminating life and death drama in which the soon-to-be-deceased is obvious.

Shari Jo (Sorchych’s) article about a proposed merger between Carefree and Cave Creek was a hoot! It followed right along about what would happen if anyone was crazy enough to try. Thanks for a good laugh.

By now most east siders have realized what a hosing Carefree received on the shoddy micro surfacing of Cave Creek Road.  Cave Creek did slightly less in distance but the surface is smooth as a baby’s you know what. I bet they feel even worse now that Scottsdale completed the same process on a section of Pima Road.

Coyotes after pets would normally be a story people would shun, but in the Desert Foothills we appreciate the humor in the story printed in the April Fools’ issue. You guys never cease to amaze me. Keep on having fun.

Rumor has it that when the town completes the roadwork on Stagecoach Pass, they will randomly install those yellow bowling balls to restrict traffic to 25 mph.  Another rumor tells of an auto shop opening in Carefree, specializing in shocks and springs.  The faux creek bed near the post office wasn’t sufficient to support such an establishment, but road improvements elsewhere in Carefree will sustain that business model. 

The story on the 98 year old Carefree woman besought by Turkey Vultures was on par with the best April Fools’ story ever. Kudos to Linda Bentley whose stellar investigative reporting could possibly be overshadowed by her creative writing skills. Awesome!

God how I love your April fools’ edition! I picked up some copies from your rack and am sending copies to friends and relatives. I wonder how many readers will leap to the phone to complain here and there until it is suggested they read the clear and simple header, “April Fools’ edition.” Thanks for the broken ribs from laughing.

You guys will be hard-pressed to do better than the April Fools’ article about the topless bar in Carefree a couple of years ago. I thought that was one of the best spoofs ever. Bar none.