Read public notices at

MARCH 9, 2011

Your View

Food for thought Mayor Schwan: Doug Stavoe lost the Carefree Mayor race with 46 percent of the vote in his favor; that means roughly every other Carefree citizen you see in town doesn’t want you in office.

The S&P/Case-Shiller home price index for metro Phoenix fell 8.3 percent in the year ended December 2010 and is down 54.7 percent from its June 2006 peak. Yet Carefree Mayor Schwan wrote in his delusional "State of Our Town" letter that everything is wonderful even as businesses flee and town revenues continue to decline. The thought of his being elected mayor gives me the chills.

Recently Speaker of the House John Boehner played golf at a Desert Mountain course. Then his group, including his personal security detail and Secret Service agents, drove to a popular Cave Creek restaurant for dinner. I guess they somehow missed the gaudy signs for Carefree businesses and drove on by. Or maybe they just thought a carnival was in town.

In order to promote business in Carefree, I feel that merchants should go with a theme. Perhaps they could dress in clown costumes to support our new circus signs.

If Schwan raises his chair anymore during council meetings he'll be in orbit.

I am mulling over an idea for a new TV sitcom: Charlie Sheen would play the inept mayor of a fictional town named "Careless, CA" surrounded by a bunch of doofus councilmen and young hotties on the make. Political intrigue would run amuck as decent folk try to oust his corrupt government. I need a producer ASAP.

News item: "Scottsdale budget proposes 2 percent hike in property tax." I sure hope Carefree Props. 422 & 423 passed.
Editor note: Thankfully they did.

With her many aliases, maybe we should worry about Holly Bergman's birth certificate instead of Obama's.

The Carefree Water Company is more than $5 million in debt. The remaining 7 percent non-callable bonds are scheduled to be paid off in 2019, but customers will see no water rate reduction then because cash will be needed to begin paying off a big loan from the town. Watch for yet another rate increase after 2011 elections.

The Carefree P&Z and town council have gone off the deep end into Crazyland with the new ordinance allowing all sorts of colored signs and monuments throughout town. I hope someone starts a referendum against the ordinance; I'll vote to overturn it.

Obama is considering all options to protect Libyan citizens. Too bad this jackass doesn't feel the same way about us.

Foothills Caring Corps says government relief is available to qualified Carefree residents having a hard time paying their electric, gas or phone bill. What about water bills?

Headline: "Saudi Arabia bans public protest." Will Mayor Schwan ban public protest when Carefree residents find out the details of his new sign ordinance allowing 7' high Monument signs?

Carefree town ordinance 2005-07 reduced the time allowed for Call to the Public remarks from five to three minutes. I bet town council would like to install a trap door in front of the speaker's stand so pesky residents could be removed the instant they exceed three minutes.

Arizona state law requires all towns to have a marshal. The dictionary defines "marshal" as "one who executes the process of the courts and performs various duties similar to those of a sheriff." Carefree ordinance 2010-07 provides, "The Town Administrator or designee shall serve as the Town Marshal and law enforcement agent." The title "marshal" is not listed under "town staff" on the Carefree website. So I don't plan on calling the Carefree marshal if a burglar breaks into my home. Would Cave Creek Marshal Stein be allowed to help?

In 2005 Carefree council increased the sales tax rate from 2 to 3 percent except for construction contracting (that jumped to 4 percent) and "retail sales of food" that stayed at 2 percent. I propose to increase the sales tax on retail food to 5 percent so residents will be forced to eat less and lose weight.

In 2007 Carefree banned use of skateboards in any public area within the town center for "the immediate preservation of the public peace, health and safety." I propose a ban on autos and trucks in the same area for the same reason. There are almost no parking spaces there anyway.

Headline: "Phoenix neighborhood experiences chickens running loose." Nobody in Phoenix has authority to catch the chickens, and I bet the chickens are trying to avoid Carefree. Carefree has a "Strays" ordinance that provides, "poultry running at large may be impounded." I have no idea what the town plans to do with chickens after they are caught.