Guest Editorial

mencken's ghostBY MENCKEN'S GHOST  |  JANUARY 5, 2011

Bet you a million these predictions come true

Below are my New Year’s predictions. I’ll bet you a million dollars that they come true. Want to take the bet?

Both Democrats and Republicans will continue looking for inspirational, charismatic and articulate political leaders to take them to the Promised Land, thus admitting that they are gullible and obedient followers without the gumption and intelligence to get there on their own and without the realization that they’ve been bamboozled all their lives by politicians.

Liberals will continue to demonize Nazism and fascism while embracing the Hegelian philosophy that gave birth to not only these forms of totalitarianism but also to Marxism. In other words, they will continue to believe that the individual should be subjugated to the nation state instead of vice versa, while deluding themselves that they care for the little guy and civil liberties.

Conservatives will continue to complain about welfare spending and deficits while voting for taxpayer-funded sports arenas, for entitlements for themselves, for 900 military bases around the world, and for wars in countries that are not a threat to us.

Liberals will continue to blame free-market capitalism for the greed of the financial industry, for the meltdown in the housing industry, and for the dysfunctions of the health care industry; when, in fact, these industries don’t operate under free-market capitalism.

Conservatives will continue to rail against big government and public-sector unions while continuing to send their kids to public schools, where they will be taught by unionized teachers and steeped for 15,000 hours over 12 years in progressive notions about social justice and the role of government. This will be tolerated by conservatives as long as their school has a good sports program and requires the mindless recitation of the Pledge of Allegiance.

The shiftless, lazy, lethargic and envious, as well as those who picked their nose in school instead of studying, will continue to elect politicians to take the money of the industrious and studious for themselves. They also will continue to rationalize their looting by blaming their lot in life on capitalism, racism, colonialism, materialism, conservatism, individualism, sexism, Judaism, and every other “ism” but progressivism, socialism and statism.

The gluttonous will continue to elect politicians to take money from the non-gluttonous to pay for the treatment of their diabetes, heart disease, and other ailments caused by obesity and a lack of exercise. They also will continue to rationalize their taking by saying that free medical care is a right and that their overeating was caused by a combination of bad genes and bad fast food chains, as if Ronald McDonald and Colonel Sanders put guns to their heads and commanded them to eat cheeseburgers and fried chicken instead of vegetables.

Unmarried parents will continue to elect politicians to tax married parents to pay for the poverty, crime, school dropouts and other social pathologies brought about by having and raising children out of wedlock. Also, after having inflicted poverty and disadvantages on their own children, they will continue to rationalize their taking by claiming that it’s for the children.

Spendthrifts will continue to elect politicians to take the lifetime savings and estates of the frugal to pay for their lifetime of buying big trucks, big TVs, big ATVs, big houses, big second mortgages, and other big-ticket stuff bought on credit. They also will continue to rationalize their taking by claiming that it’s for the common good and not for their own good.

The media, academia and other leftist cognoscenti will continue to blame the industrious, the non-gluttonous, the married, and the frugal for society’s ills instead of blaming the real culprits. At the same time, the victims, afraid of being called insensitive and uncaring, will not tell the cognoscenti to stick beans up their nose. Instead, they will smile, keep their mouths shut, and send their kids to leftist universities to get even more indoctrination in social justice. (Who is the dumbass in this situation?)

Sean Hannity will continue waving the flag and hanging up on people who know more than he does, thus ensuring that he never learns any new ideas and remains a fool. Liberal commentators on PBS, NPR, CNBC, CNN, NBC, CBS and ABC will continue to be less obvious about their biases but will still operate in their own echo chamber and thus remain fools.

And finally, libertarians like me will continue to hope that people will come to their senses and embrace the only political philosophy that isn’t based on coercion and theft and that would benefit the poor and the common good much more than modern-day liberalism and conservatism. In doing so, libertarians will continue to reveal that they are clueless about human nature.

“Mencken’s Ghost” is the nom de plume of an Arizona writer who can be reached at [email protected].