Mullet Over


mullet it over by james k white

Quite a character

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The classic movie King Kong released in 1933 originally had a scene where the giant gorilla knocked four sailors off a log bridge and into a ravine below. Huge spiders were depicted running out and devouring the frantic unfortunates. The film’s producer (Merian Cooper) was in the audience for the California premier and was appalled when several girls ran screaming from the theater and many others talked about the grisly event for the remainder of the movie. The next day Cooper took all copies of the film back to the studio and edited out the spider episode. The outtake has never been located.

The Fujita scale is used to rate the intensities of tornadoes. The range extends from F0 (blown-down highway signs) to F5 (OMG!) which can pick up cars and deposit the vehicles some 100 meters from lift-off.

The oldest north-south thoroughfare in New York City is known as Broadway. Broadway pretty much runs the length of Manhattan and was originally constructed following an old Native American path known as the Wickquasgeck Trail.

In 1784 British army officer Henry Shrapnel invented the exploding shell that would bear his name. The materiel was so effective that the British government awarded Shrapnel several promotions and an annual stipend (worth approximately $130,000 in today’s currency). It is a shrapnel shell described in Francis Scott Key’s words “the rocket’s red glare” which we sing about in our national anthem.

The area in the upper left portion of the American flag (the blue part, where the white stars are located) is the “canton.”

Edward II of England (1284-1327) was quite a character. He was the first monarch to establish colleges at Oxford and Cambridge. However, he also had quite a scandalous private life, lost a very significant battle at Bannockburn and was rumored to have had alchemist Raymond Lully making piles of gold for the treasury. Edward II apparently met a ghastly death in 1327 and was replaced on the throne by his wife and some guy named Mortimer. Eventually Edward’s son became the king as Edward III. Numerous details must be here omitted because of space limitations, but the reader might enjoy researching this monarch.

On August 23, 1903, for whatever reason, one Pat Burke decided to take his first bath in over 20 years. He died that very day and several witnesses claim the bath killed the poor fragrant man. Well, you might consider seeing a play on the old Wickquasgeck Trail – and have a great week.

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Paraprosdokian sentences – Part 1

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A "paraprosdokian" is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect.

• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

• Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

• I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

• A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don't need it.

• Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says "If an emergency, notify:" I put "DOCTOR."

• I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

• Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

• Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America?

• Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

• A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

• You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

• The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

• Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.

Patriot Humor
A Publication of the Patriot Post

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Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard

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ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
New horizons are coming for you Aries, maybe a change of venue or a new job. Try to stay focused with financial issues and get things going, you’re running out of time.

TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
Times have been tough, for everyone, however this learning experience will make you a better person. Try to make the most of life and the good things we have.

You have to try to be less stubborn an/or resentful in your day-to-day life. Try to stay around up tempo friends and family and try to find the bright light in life.

Many irons in the fire in your life lately, changes and issues to complete to be able to continue on the next trek of your life. Be aware of all the pitfalls you may encounter.

LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
Some sudden changes with family coming up, so be ready to take the lead to get things done. Try to start doing some basic exercising; it will make you feel better.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
You have to learn to get over your moodiness; it really bugs people close to you. Get over this – you are smart and can write your own ticket with anything.

LIBRA (SEPT. 24- OCT.23)
Take care of your health, don’t overdo; try to enjoy your day-to-day. Catch up with a friend or think of a new place to try for dinner.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
Use some time this weekend to work on some things around your house. Keeping things in order will make your life much easier in the long run.

Your life is coming together more and more. Times may be tough, but you always know a way to turn make it a positive. Keep smiling!

People you know are having troubles, and you are the sounding board they need to talk to. It is fine to help and always be there, but don’t put yourself out of the equation.

This is the time for a real “reality check” you need to finally decide what your future is going to be. Listen to people who may have better ways to save money.

PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
Good week to catch up on paperwork/ financial issues, and household work at home. You can’t put things off any longer, however, do try to enjoy the weekend.