Mullet Over

james k whiteBY JAMES K. WHITE | AUGUST 25, 2010

It is likely I shall not move to Germany

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For centuries people used compasses and had little idea as to why the devices aligned north and south. Some believed that a magnetic island existed somewhere in a vast ocean and the compass pointers were indicating the direction to the mysterious place. A few mapmakers guesstimated the isle’s location and assigned the name Rupes Nigra to the land mass. Christopher Columbus speculated that compass needles were somehow directed by the North Star.

Contrary to urban legend, there are no worms in the fungal infection known as ringworm. The affliction called athlete’s foot (tinea pedis) is referring to “ringworm” infections in the podiatry regions.

A Mr. Semhat is a farmer in the country of Lebanon. I mention Farmer Semhat because he has apparently raised the world’s heaviest potato. The monster tuber weighed more than 24 pounds while the previous heaviest potato was listed at just under 8 pounds. I know not whether the large “Erdapfel” was made into fries, but in what may be a related story: Herr Wanderwitz, a German Member of Parliament is seriously proposing a tax on German citizens who are deemed too fat. It is likely that I shall not move to Germany.

Ohio was the 17th state admitted to the union (1803) and is our 7th most populous. Many “outsiders” do not realize it is neither Cleveland nor Cincinnati that is the Ohio metropolis with the largest population. That distinction belongs to Columbus.

For you fine literature aficionados -- research indicates it was Foxy Loxy who ate Chicken Little.

The son of a full-blooded Kaw Indian served as vice president of the United States. The gentleman’s name was Charles Curtis and he held office under Herbert Hoover.

The original voice for the GEICO Gecko was provided by Kelsey Grammer.

Modern Art may occasionally be what many of us untrained observers had long suspected: A few years back, the Manchester Academy of Fine Arts held its annual show and selected “Rhythm of the Trees” for recognition because of “a certain quality of color balance, composition, and technical skill.” The entry beat out more than a thousand other works of art. Problems of embarrassment arose as the mother of a 4 year old girl named Carly said that her daughter had randomly smudged on a piece of paper and the parent had entered the child’s “art” as a joke. Well, do not spend a lot of time looking for Rupes Nigra, but do have a pleasant week. (

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The gynecologist who became a mechanic


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A gynecologist had become fed up with malpractice insurance and HMO paperwork, and was burned out. Hoping to try another career where skillful hands would be beneficial, he decided to become a mechanic. He went to the local technical college, signed up for evening classes, attended diligently, and learned all he could. 

When the time of the practical exam approached, the gynecologist prepared carefully for weeks, and completed the exam with tremendous skill. When the results came back, he was surprised to find that he had obtained a score of 150 percent. Fearing an error, he called the Instructor, saying, "I don't want to appear ungrateful for such an outstanding result, but I wonder if there is an error in the grade?" 

"The instructor said, "During the exam, you took the engine apart perfectly, which was worth 50 percent of the total mark. You put the engine back together again perfectly, which is also worth 50 percent of the mark." After a pause, the instructor added, "I gave you an extra 50 percent because you did it all through the muffler, which I've never seen done in my entire career."

As seen on: on February 8, 2009

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Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard

ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
New things are in store for you this week. They may be a spillover from last week. Try to start saving. Find ways to cut costs around the house so you have some extra money for a rainy day.

TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
It’s a good time to become more proactive with your career. Times with family or friends will be quite social – a good time to meet new people.

Being hardheaded will not get you anywhere this week; use your best attitude and winning ways to overcome any issues. You may have a last minute trip to visit an ill relative.

Time at home with your significant other is a little better, but don’t break out the champagne glasses yet. You may receive a couple nibbles on a new job.

LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
Some new money obstacles come about but you will get through it.  You are starting to excel in spiritual and intuitive avenues as you approach 2011. Keep reading.

VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
You are moving in the right direction now that you have made some important changes in your life. Try to have some fun along the way to your new career.

LIBRA (SEPT. 24- OCT.23)
Try that new recipe you have been putting off; all this creativity is good for your soul. You are looking for better weather so you can feel a little more comfortable.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
Work can be aggravating at times; just keep in mind, “It’s is only a job.” Try to keep home life at a decent pace and work better with your loved ones.

You will have a good time visiting with your family and friends. It will be fun catching up and spending some quality time with your extended family.

You will have to be there for a good friend after you’ve finished helping others and make sure you take care of any of your own issues at home/work.

You are settling down a bit with the many issues surrounding your life. Don’t forget to use the spiritual awareness and thought process you have always used in the past.

PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
You have been spending a lot of time on others. Now is the time to create a dynamic power re-surge and keep it strong. In the interim try to get to know a new person in your life.