Mullet Over
BY JAMES K. WHITE | JUNE 30, 2010
As observed from earth
It was 1533 when a minister of Lochau (now in Germany) shared with all who would listen his interpretation of the Book of Revelation that the world would end on October 18, 1533. Many locals believed him and thusly gave away belongings and ate much food normally saved for winter survival. The date came and went with no world endings involved. Some who had previously believed did not take the events kindly and gave Minister Michael Stiftel a severe beating. Actually, similar circumstances occurred in America in the 1840s and involved a “holy man” named William Miller; however, there were no ministerial assaults recorded.
Football has long been dangerous to some participants. In 1905 nineteen American amateur football players died from game-related injuries.
One should be cautious when accepting evaluations offered by other people. For instance, shortly after Lincoln’s address at Gettysburg a writer for the Chicago Times wrote that the speech was filled with “dish-watery utterances” and Americans should be totally embarrassed by the pathetic effort.
In the “There’s One Born Every Minute” column, we need to include that when Halley’s Comet came by in 1910 some enterprising folks made money by selling “anti-comet” pills for $1 per box.
As observed from earth, the maximum lifespan of a solar eclipse is 7.5 minutes. Not to be outdone, lunar eclipses max out at 1.75 hours.
After much study, it has been revealed that when one purchases a used refrigerator it should perform without repair for 7 years. Used freezers reportedly provide an average of 9 years repair-free service.
I know not how many readers will be affected by this law: In Kern County, California it is illegal to play bingo while intoxicated. (Prior Code Section 5480)
Bob Kurkland was seven feet tall and played basketball for Oklahoma A&M (now Oklahoma State). I mention Bob because it was he who first dunked the ball during games on any sort of regular basis. He played from 1942-1946.
According to data analyses from government surveys (so I know the conclusions are valid), counting sheep is not an effective sleep aid. Thinking of pleasant scenery does seem to help.
Do you recall your first serious boyfriend/girlfriend relationship? When Dixie Locke was 16 (1954), she was dating a kid from Mississippi named Elvis Presley and was Elvis’ first prom date. Her favorite singer was said to be Perry Como.
Well, I must go now and take my anti-windstorm pill – have great week.
As you slide down the Banister of Life - Remember
1. Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called 'Ministers Do More Than Lay People'
2. Transvestite: A guy who likes to eat, drink and be Mary.
3. The difference between the Pope and your boss: the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
4. My mind works like lightning, one brilliant flash and it is gone.
5. The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
6. I hate sex in the movies. Tried it once. The seat folded up, the drink spilled and that ice, well, it really chilled the mood.
7. It used to be only death and taxes. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
8. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
9. My next house will have no kitchen – just vending machines and a large trash can.
11. Definition of a teenager? God's punishment … for enjoying sex.
12. As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way.
Be who you are and say what you feel ... because those that matter ... don't mind ... and those that mind ... don't matter!
Your Horoscope by Madame Bournard
ARIES (MAR. 21 - APRIL 19)
You may have to make a sacrifice to keep a relationship. The choice is yours. A high-spirited friend may be greatly appreciated at this juncture of your life.
TAURUS (APR. 20 – MAY 20)
It doesn’t pay this week to be stubborn or contrary. Focus on your job and recognition will come. You join a group, but your heart is not in it.
GEMINI (MAY 21 –JUNE 20)
There may be minor annoyances that will put a damper on your mood. Friends offer some excitement this week, so accept the invitation.
CANCER (JUN 21 – JULY 22)
You may be closer to finding a new job in this lousy market. Check out opportunities presenting themselves and see what fits you. Tread lightly in your relationships.
LEO (JULY 23- SEPT. 22)
There is a lot going on in the social world of Leo, so this is not the time to be a hermit! Someone’s upbeat attitude is contagious, which is good because you need a nudge.
VIRGO (AUG. 23 –AUG 22)
Put business affairs aside for a bit and try to kick back and have a good time with a loving mate. Your partner may need some extra attention, so put your best foot forward.
LIBRA (SEPT. 24- OCT.23)
If you feel you’re in a rut, do something totally different to shake it up. It is a good time to cooperate in important relationships. Stay on top of your money flow.
SCORPIO (OCT. 23- NOV. 21)
Home is really a nice place to be this week. Enjoy working on an existing project. There may be changes around you with family or future security.
SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22- DEC. 21)
Efforts to be emotionally and financially secure start to pay off. Travel or pleasure may take unusual twists but don’t let it stop you from enjoying yourself.
CAPRICORN (DEC. 22- JAN 19)
You may hear something from a partner that may be very important. Listen carefully. Try not to become jealous within your circle of friends – it could lead to bad feelings.
AQUARIUS (JAN. 20- FEB. 18)
Beware of any financial entanglements that may appear fuzzy around the edges. Question your mate about their opinion on the matter.
PISCES (FEB. 19- MAR. 20)
You may feel at a loss because of limitations regarding a matter at hand. Devoting some time going through old business may help solve your more recent dilemma.
