SpoofSpace
Al Capone is alive and well in Washington
By Steele Coddington | January 20, 2010
Some people thought they were hearing the word “Scrooge” during the past Christmas season. But what the majority of Americans heard echoing across the fruited plains was not “Scrooge” but “screwed.” The proverbial fickle finger of unfavorable fate was being massively redefined by the biggest gathering of stealth socialists ever assembled as Democrats under the roofs of both Houses of Congress. And they stuck, not that fickle finger, but an entire arm clutching a hammer and sickle down the throats of the American public, greased with unparalleled larcenous bribery.They validated a new conviction: “Why are more crimes committed when Congress is in session? Because Congress is in session!” America – literally screwed by the worst piece of legislation ever put together in the dark of night by a bunch of Chicago style thugs with obscene payoffs to unions, trial lawyers, socialists, AARP and recidivist Senators. Aided and abetted earlier by Representatives in the House too conned by their radical Speaker, or too dumb to understand the nature of the crime against society they perpetrated, penalizing individual freedom, senior citizens, drowning taxpayers and the best health care system in the world. The smell of corruption would have nauseated the animals in the old Chicago stockyards. Unfortunately the stockyard residents have moved to Washington where they can practice cannibalism – porkers with insatiable appetites for taxpayer dollars, feeding on their own pork to perpetrate their stay in the mud.
Was your state one of the shameful recipients of Obama’s swindle payoffs for your Senator’s “yes” vote? Don’t feel disappointed if not – you will still be able to contribute – you won’t be able to participate but you will: 1) Pay for it – nationally, with record massive income tax increases and record deficits and 2) Suffer for it – locally, as your state is forced to swallow the costs of expanded Medicaide and government bureaucrats controlling your doctors, nurses and hospitals. “Oh, you need a knee replacement? Sorry, but at your age you are not on the approved list. But you do have a choice now – pills or a wheel chair.”
And we thought only the government leaders and party hacks of Third World countries were corrupt and pocketed the money we sent them as foreign aid. Congress is, however, spending so outrageously that Third World status is imminent, providing justification for Third World payoffs for our leaders. Example: Senator “I can’t be bought” Mary Landrieu of Louisiana after accepting millions, labeled “The Louisiana Purchase II” to vote “yes” on Obamacare. Hell, Senator, it’s so bad in Louisiana anyhow that if you can’t be bought, you’re incompetent. But I may have plagiarized exactly what Harry Reid said about Senators getting their share of the health care plunder.
So what are you personally going to do to butt heads with entrenched radicalists intent on changing everything that is good in America? Join a Tea Party group so you can focus your anger productively. And remember there are three things Democrats in Congress are afraid of: lie detector tests, term limits and profiling. So start by profiling all Senators and Representatives who voted FOR Obamacare. Just check for their “yes” vote or the freezer compartment of their refrigerators.
Ole and Sven
Ole and Sven have a snowmobiling accident, drunker than skunks, both die, and go to Hell.
The Devil observes that they are really enjoying themselves.
He says to them 'Doesn't the heat and smoke bother you?'
Ole replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve're from nordern Minnesooota, da land of snow an ice, an ve're yust happy fer a chance ta varm up a little bit, ya know.'
The devil decides that these two aren't miserable enough and turns up the heat even more.
When he returns to the room of the two from Minnesota, the devil finds them in light jackets and hats, grilling Walleye and drinking beer. The devil is astonished and exclaims, 'Everyone down here is in misery, and you two seem to be enjoying yourselves?'
Sven replies, 'Vell, ya know, ve don't git too much varm veather up dere at da Falls, so ve've yust got ta haff a fish fry vhen da veather's dis nice.'
The devil is absolutely furious. He can hardly see straight. Finally he comes up with the answer. The two guys love the heat because they have been cold all their lives. The devil decides to turn all the heat off. The next morning, the temperature is 60 below zero, icicles are hanging everywhere, and people are shivering so bad that they are unable to wail, moan or gnash their teeth.
The devil smiles and heads for the room with Ole and Sven. He gets there and finds them back in their parkas, bomber hats, and mittens. They are jumping up and down, cheering, yelling and screaming like mad men.
The devil is dumbfounded, 'I don't understand, when I turn up the heat you're happy. Now its freezing cold and you're still happy. What is wrong with you two?'
They both look at the devil in surprise and say, 'Vell, don't ya know, if hell iss froze over, dat must mean da Vikings von da Super Bowl.'