My View

By Don Sorchych | December 30, 2009

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Don SorchychNew Years Resolutions
for 2010 • Carla Way

A new year is rolling in again and our “leaders” in Cave Creek and Carefree have already listed their New Year’s resolutions:

The mayors:
Cave Creek’s Mayor-for-life Vincent Francia promises he will hereafter preside in saffron colored robes and will leave CEO activity in the hands of Town Manager Usama Abujbarah.

Carefree’s Mayor David Schwan has prepared for the loss of the recall vote by joining Kiwanis where a few shoulders will be available to cry on.

canfield cartoon
Cave Creek council:
Vice Mayor Ernie Bunch, quietly Texan, will bring his guitar to quiet the council when debating freshman Councilman Adam Trenk.

Jim Bruce, attorney and artist, waits impatiently for Walmart to come before council so he can vote, “YES.”

Dick Esser, the neutral councilman, will continue to entertain the best and worst elements of town – while disclosing nothing.

Steve Lamar, confidant and employee of Attorney General Terry Goddard, will continue to hide his Republican registration card.

Ralph Mozilo, in his second membership with council, will fight for reserved parking places for council, and himself, in the town parking lot.

Adam Trenk, the New Jersey cowboy, who won the council seat by drawing a high card after garnering about 20 grand from out of town family and friends, promised to quit screwing up so he doesn’t ruin his chances for a state legislative seat.

Cave Creek staff:
Town Manager Usama Abujbarah, the CEO of Cave Creek, says he will never use Cave Creek as a bully pulpit for area schools again.

Town Clerk Carrie Dyrek, says she will continue to nip in the bud any staff or council ideas that conflict with statutes.

Planning Director Ian Cordwell will continue to be Mr. Nice Guy in hopes of an award signifying that.

Town Marshal Adam Stein promises never to touch a sign placed in town, nor to try to hire ex-employee Deputy Town Marshal Bobby Hernandez again.

Carefree council:
Vice Mayor Glenn Miller pledges to go to classes at PVCC titled, “Not the Chicago way to contract; learn all about legal bidding practices.” He further pledges to continue to work behind closed doors for the town’s benefit.

Bob Coady polishes his resume while promising to be fair to all Carefree citizens when he becomes mayor, even good old boys. He further promises not to upset Susan Vanik’s tender feelings at council meetings. After all, she is the president of Kiwanis.

Bob Gimmell says he will read statutes pertaining to recall so he won’t be embarrassed by reading statements from the dais that Schwan would have to be guilty of some sort of mayhem.

Peter Koteas is seeking answers to the dilemma that so many GOBs attend his chosen church. Some wags have suggested he start his own GOBless church.

Doug Stavoe as downtown business man knows what businesses need in Carefree. Although appalled at working with a GOB controlled council he is preparing for an upset of the existing administration. He states he will try to not anger Miller by asking pertinent questions.

Susan Vanik is also president of GOB controlled Kiwanis. As a charter member of the distaff side of GOBs, she understands the lingo. She is preparing to lick her wounds as she becomes a minority member of council but still presiding over Kiwanis. She pledges to stop taking full credit for other councilmen’s work.

Town staff:
Town Clerk Betsy Wise is in training for a new boss, learning to genuflect, smile and is developing a list of defenses concerning the many slights of recall participants.

Town Administrator Gary Neiss is madly writing resumes and collecting recommendations from GOBs.

Town Marshal Pat Farmer is practicing “Who me?” statements in front of a mirror hoping to distance himself from the changes to come.

Carla Way
We never write much about our Scottsdale neighbor to the south although it is a hotbed of political activity, so we are seeking a part time reporter to cover that beat.

We hear about the battle with their chamber where Scottsdale administration has asserted the chamber has illegally campaigned. The battle has moved to the courts.

Scottsdale has long added to its preservation of the McDowell Sonoran Preserve and it is indeed a jewel the city can be proud of.

Recent talk to aggrandize Carla, who the Arizona Republic always names in parentheses as (her full legal name).

Recently the McDowell Sonoran Preserve commission suggested the Scottsdale Council vote to name a road leading to the preserve as “Carla Way.”

I’m glad Cave Creek has more than enough preservation land for my aging legs to hike. Having to be reminded of Carla’s infamy regarding our own preservation efforts is chilling.

Of course the Arizona Republic is in full cry asserting how deserving Carla (her full legal name) is, as if they had a clue. She does meet their criteria of being just like them – liberal to the core.

In Carefree, former Mayor Ed Morgan gave a long sermon when they named a street after Ed Everitt calling the street Everitt Way. It seemed hours while Morgan droned on about the “ways” of Everitt. Everitt was deserving though, unlike Carla (her one and only legal name).

Recently we wrote about former State Land Director Dennis Wells who retired from his job as town manager of Williams, Arizona. Wells had an aggressive scheme to save Spur Cross Ranch (SCR) and thousands of acres surrounding SCR at no cost to locals by trading for forest service land.

Wells’ plans had the blessing of the developer who originally planned to rape SCR. At that time Senior Senator John McCain was supporting preservation of SCR but with a stipulation that all parties would have to be in agreement.

Suddenly the Desert Foothills Land Trust (DFLT) sent a letter to all parties dropping their support claiming there was no plan to manage SCR.

McCain dropped his support and new tactics finally were used which involved substantial state, county and Cave Creek money to achieve preservation.

In the background the forest service did everything they could to defeat Wells’ plan and had enormous help from state-wide enviros mobilized by Carla (honestly her only name). She and DFLT were close and I believe DFLT did her bidding.

It is hard to trace someone with one name, but under her previous legal names, Carla Woodall, then Hackert, there are interesting allegations we will pursue.

The sign that Scottsdale factions and the Republic are urging should read. “Carla – No Way!”