Mullet Over

Here is one I did not see coming

by James K. White | December 2, 2009

| More

james k whitePortland, Oregon has what may be the world’s smallest public park. The park encloses a total of 452 square inches and was designed for snail racing.

Perspectives and views change with time. For instance, in 1923 the U.S. Attorney General declared that it was illegal for women to wear trousers in this country.

An alert scientist noted that a certain species of mosquito normally flutters at 600 vibrations per second if the insect is a male and 400 hertz (not the car rental) if it is a female. Also noted: both genders vibrate at 1200 hertz when an interest in mating is exhibited.
Successful experiments involving the 1200 Hz have lured mosquitoes into traps. Environmentalists are hopeful that similar snares become popular because no toxins are used with this ilk of pest control.

For you stargazers: the left foot of Orion is a huge star named Rigel that is as bright as 47,000 of our suns.

Here is one I did not see coming. A former drummer for the Grateful Dead has been in communication with Smithsonian personnel to translate light waves emitted millions of years ago into music. Holy asteroid, Batman!

One might exercise caution when becoming rowdy in Kennesaw, Georgia. Each “head of household” therein is required by law to own both a firearm and appropriate ammunition.

Perhaps Thomas Young should be a bit more famous. The Englishman had read the Bible through twice by age four and while he was at Cambridge in 1803, Thomas worked out the first light wave theory (darn, I was going to do that). Mr. Young also fluently spoke a dozen languages, expertly played several musical instruments and made significant contributions in deciphering Egyptian hieroglyphics. In contrast it might be mentioned that I was almost 12 before I learned all 22 letters of our alphabet (in order).

Circus Maximus in Rome was remodeled by Julius Caesar to hold an impressive 150,000 spectators. Later emperors expanded the structure to accommodate 250,000 persons.
During most of the 1700’s, the Roman Catholic Church owned more than 60 percent of all the land in Portugal.

Sometimes fame comes too late. Today Mozart is recognized as one of the world’s greatest composers. It is recorded that only one person accompanied Wolfgang Amadeus’ coffin to his final resting place and since the musical genius was placed in an unmarked pauper’s grave, no one knows the exact location of his burial site.

Well, do not damage your eyes staring at Rigel and have a tremendous week.

GBA banner

Puzzling questions and answers

| More

1. How do you catch a unique rabbit?
Unique up on it.

2. How do you catch a tame rabbit?
Tame way.

3. How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psychopath.

4. How do you get holy water?
You boil the hell out of it.

5. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall?

6. What do Eskimos get from sitting on the ice too long?

7. What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work?
A stick

8. What do you call cheese that isn't yours?
Nacho cheese.

9. What do you call Santa's helpers?
Subordinate clauses.

10. What do you call four bullfighters in quicksand?
Quatro cinco.

11. What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.

12. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?

13. What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches?
A nervous wreck.

14. What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?
Anyone can roast beef.

15. What kind of coffee was served on the titanic?

16. Why did pilgrims' pants always fall down?
Because they wore their belt buckles on their hats.

17. What's the difference between a bad golfer and a bad skydiver?
A bad golfer goes, whack, dang!
A bad skydiver goes dang! Whack.

18. How are a Texas tornado and a Tennessee divorce the same?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.