Spoof Space
Keep a stiff upper lip and whatever . . .

By Steele Coddington | May 6, 2009

At the Infantry Officers School at Fort Benning, Georgia, many of the instructors were combat sergeants. The students were mostly young lieutenants being trained to lead troops in combat. One of the younger officers I knew asked a crusty old veteran for his advice on how he could prepare himself physically for combat. The answer was … learn to “Keep a stiff upper lip and a tight ADAM HENRY.”

Adam and Henry are two of the alphabet names used as code words on the radio. The first letters of the words are also sometimes used as abbreviations for profanity which is not allowed over the air. Those particular words, when intended as profanity, describe a certain part of the body not used in polite conversation, but are often used to describe lawyers, liberal politicians, drivers who cut you off in traffic and people who disagree with you.
And it is good advice for duped senior citizens who think “socialized medicine” will vastly improve their health care. Unfortunately, the Demagogically Deceived and Decidedly Disgruntled seniors who may have voted for the Despicable Disciples of Doom in Disgustingly Deranged D.C. will get a proverbial shaft instead of a caring caduceus. They will be the Peters who are robbed to pay Paul in the new health care kleptocracy. When Big Brother promises universal health care, utilizing a very limited resource like our medical system, extremely short on doctors and nurses, the alternatives are rationing, discrimination, affirmative action, preferences, favoritism, bribery, or all of the above.
In that situation, the advice changes and becomes “Keep a stiff upper lip and a tight FRED on your WILLIAM,” meaning a “tight FIST on your WALLET,” expressed in code so Janet Napolitano won’t think you are a terrorist.

How will our magnificent seniors react? Probably as members of the Greatest Generation, and our parents and grandparents, they grew up when coping, instead of bitching was an honorable way to suck it up for God and country. They survived the Great Depression, WWII, over-looked Jimmy Carter, Al Gore and the Ford Edsel, lived through multi-culturalism, diversity, illegal immigration, global warming and tolerated the pusillanimous prevarication of propaganda purveyors posing as THE PRESS! They learned how to survive listening to the lessons of experience, believed one good turn deserved another, were smart enough to squirrel away for a rainy day, and just in case, thought a gun in hand was good for self-preservation.

They grew up knowing Christian ethics are the foundation of law and order, and personal freedom and honorable behavior are the reasons why true patriots have said from the time of the founding of the Republic, “My country, right or wrong, my country.”

It’s not perfect, but when you’ve helped build it by the sweat of your brow, and preserved it by loving it, you don’t need a Jeremiah Wright or William Ayers or some other misguided ADAM HENRY apologizing for the greatest, most generous, forgiving country in the history of mankind. And in the next election, don’t hand over your wallet to a kleptomaniac or trade your doctor for a bureaucrat.

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One tired dog

An older, tired-looking dog wandered into my yard. I could tell from his collar and well-fed belly that he had a home and was well taken care of.

He calmly came over to me, I gave him a few pats on his head; he then followed me into my house, slowly walked down the hall, curled up in the corner and fell asleep.

An hour later, he went to the door, and I let him out.

The next day he was back, greeted me in my yard, walked inside and resumed his spot in the hall and again slept for about an hour. This continued off and on for several weeks.

Curious I pinned a note to his collar: “I would like to find out who the owner of this wonderful sweet dog is and ask if you are aware that almost every afternoon your dog comes to my house for a nap.”

The next day he arrived for his nap, with a different note pinned to his collar: “He lives in a home with 6 children, 2 under the age of 3 – he's trying to catch up on his sleep. Can I come with him tomorrow?”