Spoof - Granny the plausible

March 25, 2009

Steele CoddingtonMy great grandmother was a strong but petite lady whose energy and humor could light up a city of 100,000 people if she could talk to them all at once. People enjoyed being around her because of her remarkable sense of humor. She was always kind, but sometimes raucous considering she shoed her own horses – which as anyone who has shoed horses knows, often requires a vocabulary that might embarrass a drunken sailor. Her humor was a gift she spread like an evangelist to lighten the burden of the poor in spirit, the unhappy and complete strangers who simply looked sad.

Granny, as everyone addressed her, was kind of an early day Mother Teresa, whose particular sensitivity wasn’t exactly in the realm of healing the sick, but she could change the atmosphere and moods with her smile and a warm understanding of how humor is able to relieve anxiety, sadness, self pity or just plain old “feelin’ the miseries.” She was a sincerely genuine diamond whose sparkle had to be the originator of the well known “Happy face who spread sunshine all over the place.”

Granny’s been gone for a long time, but her personality was so inspirational that I still have conversations with her. Maybe just in my mind, dreams or imagination. Maybe not, too! When I’m confronted with serious situations or difficult problems, I imagine her looking me in the eye, ready to translate my trouble into acceptability through her sense of humor.

Just the other day I had a serious operation on my hand to reconstruct damage to a vein. With a humongous bandage on the hand, I knew people would ask me what happened. Since I inherited some of Granny’s genes, I decided to make up a story that would make light of the injury and amuse me anyhow. So I told people who asked “What happened?” that my thumb and forefinger (the pointing finger) involuntarily moved toward each other and pinched people on the rear end. My psychiatrist insisted that we operate immediately to keep me out of trouble. Granny said to me, “You know what? You shouldn’t have had the operation because when you pinched butts, women would probably have enjoyed it and men would either resent it or ask you for a date!” I heard her laughing.

My joke about my hand was a fortuitous coincidence. Granny said, “You attributing your joke to me gives us the perfect opportunity to illustrate the latest ploy members of Congress and the press use to cover their backside when they slander conservatives – it’s called plausible deniability.”

“Huh?” I said. She explained, “Theodore Roosevelt never did it in my day. He always told the truth.” Today, liberals tell a lie and then attribute it to some untraceable source. The damage is done, but the perpetrator can plausibly deny it. “I didn’t say it – I just repeated what someone else said.” Tricky huh? But effective. In that context, it was Granny who said, “Women would enjoy it if you pinched their butts, men would either resent it or ask you for a date.” To think I would say anything like that is implausible. If you want to talk to Granny, give me a call. If she’s around, I’ll let you talk to her so she can put a little sunshine on your face.

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Blue Fridays

Very soon, you will see a great many people wearing blue every Friday. The reason? Americans who support our troops used to be called the 'silent majority' We are no longer silent, and are voicing our love for God, country and home in record breaking numbers. We are not organized, boisterous or overbearing.

Many Americans, like you, me and all our friends, simply want to recognize that the vast majority of America supports our troops. Our idea of showing solidarity and support for our troops with dignity and respect starts this Friday -- and continues each and every Friday until the troops all come home, sending a deafening message that every red-blooded American who supports our men and women afar, will wear something blue.

By word of mouth, press, TV -- let's make the United States on every Friday a sea of blue much like a home coming football game in the bleachers. If every one of us who loves this country will share this with acquaintances, coworkers, friends, and family, it will not be long before the USA is covered in BLUE and it will let our troops know the once 'silent' majority is on their side more than ever, certainly more than the media lets on.

The first thing a soldier says when asked 'What can we do to make things better for you?' is .'We need your support and your prayers.' Let's get the word out and lead with class and dignity, by example, and wear something blue every Friday.

For more information about how to support our troops visit www.squidoo.com/bluefriday.