NATO: Not Altogether Thought Out

mullet over

– I have been around cattle for much of my life, yet it was only recently that I learned the meaning of “clawscrunt.” I was informed that “clawscrunt” is a tree against which cattle scratch or rub. Try to work that term into a conversation. Good Luck.

– In 1985, the Ralston-Purina cereal company attempted to take advantage of the trendy word “nerd” by marketing Nerd Cereal. Success seemed likely as the 1983 Nerds Candy by Nestlé was quite popular. However, the sugary R-P cereal was a big bust by almost any standard and was removed from the market after a few months.

– When one spends time on or near a golf course, he/she will almost certainly hear an occasional “fore!” That declaration is usually intended to be a verbal warning that one golf ball has been launched and to “look out!” The yelling tradition is said to have originated during times of war. It was used to announce cannon/artillery volleys that would be coming forthwith. It has happened that duffers in my foursomes frequently yell “watch your ankles” just after I strike my shots.

– A situation is usually improved whenever people realize what is being said: According to some florists, sending (or presenting) a carnation means “You are fascinating” or “I love you” in flower talk.

– The town of Buffalo, Oklahoma has a population of about 1250. Exact counts vary because of weather, hunting seasons, etc. It was in B.O. that two audacious teens strolled up to the City Librarian’s desk while pointing and waving guns. They plopped pillowcases on the counter and one yelled “fill them up with all the money you have – and nobody will get hurt!” The librarian had less than a dollar in the cigar box where the book-fine money was kept. She quickly complied and dumped the entire amount into one of the cases. The bandits looked around displaying surprised faces and then ran out the front door. Both participants in this big-time heist were captured in nearby Garden City, Kansas. The teens later commented that they thought they were robbing a bank. The Buffalo Bank is across a street from the new library.

– Here is another criminal plan that qualifies as NATO (Not Altogether Thought Out): Recently, a Savannah, Georgia man decided to steal guns which were locked inside a squad car parked next to a police station. He was noticed, nabbed and escorted (into jail). An observer can plainly see that the would-be bandit’s plan needed serious tweaking (different from “twerking”). Well, I suggest that you call no one a “clawscrunt.” It sounds bad. Have a great day.

James White is a retired mathematics teacher who enjoys sharing fascinating trivia. He can be reached at