“Zombie alert”

God Bless America

Grand theft shed

The 25-foot long shed was just sitting there on a foreclosed property in Lebanon, ME and so three bold thieves hooked it up to their pickup truck and attempted to drag it away. But state police spotted them inching their way along the road, blocking traffic, and quickly caught up with them after what might be described as a slow-speed chase, reports the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC].

Two’s company, three’s a crowd

Mr. and Mrs. Rotondo of Camillus, NY enjoyed being empty nesters so when their 30-year-old son, Michael, who had returned home for a temporary stay, refused to leave, mom and dad presented him with eviction notices. Michael ignored them, so his parents took him to court. The judge found in favor of the parents and ordered their son to leave, according to the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC].

The walking dead

The folks in Lake Worth, FL had quite a scare recently when they received an official “zombie alert” in the wake of a power failure. The Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC] says that the city’s public information officer Ben Kerr explained that the Lake Worth emergency alert system contains “thousands” of automatic messages to explain power outages.  “Basically, somebody thought it would be funny to have some zombie messages in there,” Kerr said. And, he promised, “I will alert anybody if there is a zombie.”