Just drying her underwear

God Bless America

Wanted: Goat Coordinator

If you are looking for a new job and are good at setting up “meet and bleat events,” you may want to head north to Edmonton, Alberta, suggests the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. The Canadian town is looking for a Goat Coordinator at a pay rate of $43 an hour. The position was established when the city of Edmonton created its GoatWorks program last year. Your job would be to herd some 170 goats assigned to the task of chewing up weeds in Rundle Park, a principal recreational area with trails, a man-made lake and lots of grass. The “meet and bleat” get-togethers are for the benefit of the citizens.

Tiger Woods scores a ‘birdie’

The Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC] reports that hard-driving Tiger Woods managed to get a “birdie” on the eighth hole at Florida’s PGA National Golf Club’s Champion Course in Palm Beach Gardens during the recent Honda Classic recently. No, he hit a bird on the fairway.  What happened was that a hapless duck wandered into the path of Woods’ near-perfect tee shot and was struck by his golf ball.

Apparently, the bird was just grazed but able to get away after the incident.

Mile high laundry club?

A woman aboard a long-haul flight from Turkey to Moscow surprised fellow passengers recently aboard a Ural Airways passenger jet when she decided to dry her underwear in the air vent above her seat. Presumably she had rinsed out the aforementioned unmentionable and required a 20-minute blow dry, according to the Association of Mature American Citizens [AMAC]. A witness told reporters after landing in Moscow that passengers “looked with surprise and bewilderment, but all were silent.”