God Bless America: Miscellaneous thoughts

God Bless America

My goal for 2015 was to lose just 10 pounds.  Only 15 to  go.

Ate salad for dinner! Mostly croutons & tomatoes.  Really  just one big, round crouton covered with tomato sauce.  And  cheese. FINE, it was a pizza. I ate a pizza.

How  to prepare Tofu:
1.   Throw it in the trash.
2.   Grill some Meat.

I just did a week’s worth of cardio after walking into a spider web. I don’t mean to brag but……I finished my 14-day diet in 3 hours and 20 minutes.

A  recent study has found that women who carry a little extra weight live longer than men who mention it.

Kids today don’t know how easy they have it.  When I was young, I had to walk 9 feet through shag carpet to change the TV  channel.

Senility has been a smooth transition for me.

Remember back when we were kids and every time it was below zero out they closed school? Me neither.

I may not be that funny or athletic or good looking or smart or talented….I forgot where I was going with this.

I love being over 60. I learn something new every  day…….and forget 5 others.

A thief broke into my house last night……He started searching for money so I woke up and searched with him.

My dentist told me I need a crown. I was like:  I KNOW!  Right?

I think I’ll just put an “Out of Order” sticker on my forehead and call it a day.